You’ll never understand
How I feel on a daily basis
The thoughts circling through my head
The fears and hopes and dreams I have
•
You’ll never understand
So it’s my job to teach you
To show you
To let you in
•
You’ll never understand
Even though you say you do
Because you didn’t know me then
And you may not even know me now
•
You’ll never understand
Because I don’t even understand
I’m changing and growing and evolving
I’m reintroducing me to myself, too
To love harder or to let go
Does it have to be one or the other?
Why not both?
Why not neither?
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Sometimes to love is to let go
Letting go can be freeing
Letting go can be hard
Why does it have to be this way?
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What if I change “this way?”
What if I let others come to me
The way that I used to come to them
Embrace with open arms when ready
•
Maybe I’ll try that
Because loving harder hurts me
Because letting go hurts others
And I want everyone to win
No one will ever love me like you do
No one will ever look at me like you do
No one will ever listen to me like you do
No one will ever welcome me like you do
No one will ever come close to you
The way you make me feel
The way I laugh around you
The way you bring the playful side out of me
You’re my best friend and I can’t thank you enough for that.
Did you know you can rescue your best friend?
There, I said it. I don’t have the same excitement about or fulfillment from traveling alone the way that I used to before.
Ever since age 18, I’ve been traveling by myself across the US, Canada, Europe and Asia. I used to love solo travel, especially before the pandemic; there was something about it that felt exciting and liberating.
I remember in 2020, I told my then-therapist that I didn’t have the same urge to travel anymore. While many people were looking to explore during and after the lockdown, I was simply seeking stability and happiness in my own home. I didn’t feel the need to “run away” like I used to, but that quickly changed a couple years later, when my ex and I went through our divorce after a ten-year relationship.
Now, the way I travel looks entirely different. Instead of hopping on planes and trains, I’m far more happy driving across the country with my husband and with Linley still. Even our honeymoon last year was a “Tracey Trio” roadtrip, rather than a lavish European getaway or tropical all-inclusive resort.
Today, I sit on a train heading from Ghent back to Brussels, where I’ve been alone for a handful of days. I absolutely hate it! I hate being alone. It makes being in a new place feel damp when it used to fill my cup immensely. All I’ve kept thinking was, “Alex would love this; I wish he was here with me,” or “Awe that dog is so cute! I miss Linley so much!”
I know I’ll be traveling alone for my ESL tutoring work; however, I won’t feel alone because I’ll be surrounded by children and villagers all day while I’m abroad. But there’s something about being physically alone that I don’t enjoy anymore, and that’s okay. It’s a sign that I’m changing and my priorities are loud and clear.
At least I got some cool pictures out of this, as well as some good meals. I know that minimizes things and I’m grateful to be here, and have also had some nice moments, but I can’t wait to see Alex here tomorrow!
Post written Tuesday, October 6 in Belgium; photos taken October, 2026 in Luxembourg and Belgium (Brussels and Ghent).
It’s hard to believe that one week ago, Alex and I were strolling through the Atlanta Botanical Garden for some much-needed quality time in nature. We enjoyed several exhibitions, classical music in the gardens and some cocktails (mocktails for me) at a fancy bar inside Piedmont Park.
It’s funny how every time we do something, we see things in threes (for the Tracey Trio!) and something dog related, almost as if Linley guilts us for not bringing him along…
There’s something really special about wandering around and doing nothing with Alex; it’s probably my favorite thing to do with him. We were pointing out different plants that we enjoyed, and read all the descriptions we could find.
After re-upping on our drinks, we weaved through some windy paths and saw the lovely goddess (one of my favorite parts of the botanical gardens) and other fun surprises, like haikus written by elementary school students!
I miss this evening so much already, and I look forward to many more with Alex by my side!
Photos taken Thursday, September 24, 2026 at the Atlanta Botanical Garden.
The day before Linley’s gotcha day was extra special. We took Linley to another annual Bark in the Park, which is hosted by the Detroit Tigers every year. This was Linley’s and my fifth or sixth game, my mom’s third, my dad’s second and Alex’s first!
Linley was so excited to be back and get all these treats (and attention!) like he had in years past. I was equally as excited because seeing Alex see this through his eyes was heartwarming.
We loved seeing all the other pups nearby, and simply being together as a family meant so much to me. It was a great pre-celebration of Linley’s big day!
I can’t wait for the next one!
Photos taken Tuesday, September 8, 2026 🐯⚾️
After exploring the Empire Bluff Trail with Linley again and with Alex for the first time, we returned to a new beach that we stumbled upon before lunch. I can’t believe I’d lived in Michigan with Linley for six years, and yet I’d never even heard of Elberta Beach! It was truly a hidden gem.
We checked it out at lunchtime, and knew this was where we wanted to be at sunset. It was a massive beach with some smaller dunes, not too many people, some dogs and a cute pier with a small lighthouse at the end of it. Running along the beach with Alex and Linley is a staple of a solid “Tracey Trio” vacation, and that evening was no exception.
I get emotional whenever I look at photos or watch videos from our beach trips. I can’t imagine myself anywhere else other than with my two brown-eyed boys with our toes in the sand and smiles on our faces.
Until next time! 🥹
Alex, Linley and I spent time with loved ones in Michigan a couple weeks ago, and it felt good to be back. Our experience there solidified long-term friendships, drew lines in the sand with others, and I was able to meet three virtual friends in person for the first time. While certain chapters closing is always hard, the closure and healing I found in my home state was not only meaningful, but necessary.
Alex had only been to Michigan one other time (in the dead of winter, so he could appreciate the lovely summer-into-fall weather!). Linley hadn’t been back since we moved to Atlanta in 2023, and my first time back last year was a flop. It goes without saying, but I’ll say it again anyway: this trip was exactly what we all needed.
Media taken Saturday, September 5 – Friday, September 11, 2026 in Michigan.
I’m wide awake at 2:45am (which is highly unlikely me) because I’m so sad the fun of this week is over. I wish my mind didn’t think like that, but sometimes I long for the moments that just passed.
I know tomorrow (well, technically today) I’ll be in a better mood during my walks with Linley and throughout my conversations with Alex, but for now, I’m hearing them snore next to me, anxiously awaiting our next adventure.
We live about 20 minutes away from a bamboo forest trail that begins with a lovely dog beach! While I miss the Great Lakes very much, this kind of dog beach on the river is something Linley and I never experienced before coming here. Alex and I had so much fun encouraging Linley to explore, especially while jumping up on the rocks!
Our local Gwinnett Stripers baseball team hosted another Wet Nose Wednesday where pups are allowed at the games. They’re super fun and feature foster dogs as well, and any organization that supports rescuing is a winner in my book! We had so much fun and we can’t wait to go back next month. This was Alex’s and Linley’s fourth game today, and was my third.
Yesterday (still feels like today to me because I’m up late 😅), I enjoyed one of the best days of my summer yet. Alex, Linley, two of our best friends and I floated in Helen, Georgia. We laughed, we had to navigate rapids and crowds, and Linley received tons of attention per usual. It was the perfect day with people I love. We then stopped for lunch nearby with the kindest server, Jordan, and enjoyed some mountain views at a local winery. This day was so perfect that I didn’t want it to end!
While I’m sad this week is over, I know we’ll have several fun memories to come this summer, too! And I’m going to cherish the days we already had together this week. 😌
Media taken Saturday, August 25, Wednesday, August 19 & Saturday, August 22, 2026.
A couple weekends ago, my parents flew down from Michigan to visit Alex, Linley and me. While it was a short trip, it was a lovely weekend and we were all sad it flew by so fast.
I often share how challenging my family dynamic can be – and it still is – but having a good foundation with my parents means so much to me. Even though I may not be close with other family members at the moment, it’s nice to have them at a phone call or quick flight away.
We’ll be in Michigan for a week during Linley’s Gotcha Day, and we’re looking forward to making more memories and having more quality time.
Media taken Saturday, August 8 and Sunday, August 9, 2026 in Atlanta, GA.
Last weekend, Alex, Linley and I spent time in the Chattanooga area with my French tutor, her husband Jon and their dog Buddy. Janet and I have been working together virtually since April of last year, but we’ve never had the opportunity to meet in person until last Thursday evening.
What I love about language and travel isn’t *just* the language and travel; it’s the people. The people you meet along the way make experiences so much more fulfilling, and Janet has embodied that and then some for me. Janet holds me accountable, is an expert in not only learning French but five other languages too, and is my biggest cheerleader when I can’t find the right words or when I accomplish something difficult.
Everyone learning a new language needs a Janet, and every traveler needs a Geerlings family. I strive to be like Janet with my ESL students and change coaching clients alike: by cheerleading and holding others accountable to achieve their goals.
Thank you to International Language Cafe and The Chattanooga School of Language for bringing Janet to me!
Here were some highlights from our weekend together:
Not pictured: Linley and Buddy playing non-stop, Linley trying to jump in the Guinea Fowls’s crate, all the laughs while playing cards and all the memories around the dinner table. 💛
Media taken Thursday, July 30 – Sunday, August 2, 2026 in Chattanooga, TN
Two years ago, I was living some of my hardest days. While the hardest chapter of my life was 2020 – 2023, August of 2024 was a close second. I was still recovering from a horrible back injury that inflicted excruciating physical pain, which led to emotional and mental scarring, too. And while that was going on, we found out that Linley had a tumor in his lung that needed to be removed ASAP. While I was in PT for 10 months and getting spinal epidurals, I was also worrying about whether I would lose my son and best friend (yes, Linley is my baby boy, don’t judge me! 🤣)
Fast forward to August of 2026: Linley and I are both happy and healthy (thank goodness). But now I’m finding myself “needing” to make up for lost time, wanting to do all the things and rushing my way through the summer.
This is my reminder to all of you, and to myself, to slow down! We can’t do all the things at once. We can’t commit to every invite or constantly run ourselves to the ground. Sometimes doing less is more, and I’m *slowly* unlearning that going a million miles a minute is the only way to survive.
Here are photos – both beautiful and tough – from August of 2024. What a rollercoaster that time was, and I’m glad I’m off that ride!
Shoutout to Piedmont for getting me in touch with the best PT and specialists around, to Blue Pearl Animal Hospital for saving Linley’s life and to all our friends at Bantam who rallied for Linley (and me!) during that time. 🫶
Photos taken August 2024
