You heard me; I believe this place and the people here are magical! And here’s why…
December gave me a new love for the holidays and Christmas spirit — one I hadn’t felt in a few years. Alex and I had so much fun before and during the holidays that I’m genuinely sad they’re over!
St. Louisa’s for organ karaoke
I haven’t sang or listened to karaoke in years, but our buddy Quinten told us about this old church-turned-bar with organ karaoke… and we couldn’t miss it! Alex and I have been twice now, and I’m sure 2024 will bring us more singing, dancing and laughing here — as well as pretending to be ping pong pros!
Botanical Garden for Christmas lights
We’d been to the Botanical Garden with our friend Emily in September, but visiting during the holidays was a completely different and unforgettable experience. Although the drinks weren’t cheap, they were good and the music, light variety and company were great. 💛 Alex and I were super impressed with the coordination of the lights with the Christmasy jazz playing.
Kat’s Cafe for jazz music
Sticking with the jazz theme, Alex and I enjoyed ourselves at this dive club in Midtown. This wasn’t as upscale as Cliff Bell’s in Detroit, but it didn’t need to be! The music, atmosphere and martinis were amazing.
Cirque du Soleil for an incredible show
Seldom am I speechless, but this show blew me away! The acrobatics, comedic bits and overall production took my breath away. I’m beyond grateful that Alex made my first show so special, and even though he’s been quite a few times, it was special for him too!
Christmas Market for a friend date
After Thanksgiving I made a new friend at the dog park, and we finally hung out before the holidays. Ariel, Alex and I had a blast drinking mulled wine, laughing our butts off and getting to know each other!
Roswell Mill for a family hike
On New Year’s Eve we took Linley on a hike just outside of Atlanta — which was just right for all of us! We look forward to more adventures and hikes as a trio. 🤗
To feel a true sense of belonging and welcoming from Alex and his family means more than I can’t put into words.
When I was living in the Midwest, I had to scramble to find alternate holiday plans. I don’t mean to be a Grinch with what I share below, but I do want to set the tone for how past holidays with my immediate family would go: There was absolutely no way that I would spend a day of gratitude and love with my brother and his wife who I’m estranged from, or parents who will never love me the way they love my brother, or family members who judged me for being with men who weren’t white, for my tattoos or for my willingness to go to therapy to break our toxic family cycles of generational trauma. Short story long: I always spent time with friends and their families to avoid what I would deem as nothing short of toxic.
The only cousin I’m close to and her fiancé Ben visited us a couple weekends ago, and it was a great way to kick off the holidays! We played games until midnight and had fun at some of our favorite local restaurants. I love Katy more than she’ll ever know. 💛
Last month, I made a new friend while taking Linley to the dog park on one of my days off. Ariel and I went on our first “friend date” of many, and even Alex loved how close we became! It was definitely fate. ✨
Alex’s and my first Christmas together was nothing short of amazing. And it’ll be the first of many. 🥰 Linley and I had so much fun with his family relaxing in the morning, eating great food throughout the day and enjoying some espresso martinis along the way. Alex and his family welcomed us and have made us feel a sense of belonging since the moment we moved down to Georgia in September. We couldn’t feel more lucky. 🥹
And just because I’m feeling this grateful and loved, here are some other fun December photos we took this month:
Although Halloween fell on a Tuesday this year, we made the most of last weekend and Halloween evening. It was a wonderful first Halloween in Atlanta and as a trio!
On Friday, we strolled the Beltline after work with some drinks in hand while wearing some epic family costumes. It was Alex’s idea for us to dress up as Krispy Kreme employees, and Lin be our doughnut! I loved the idea immediately and we ran with it. Linley wasn’t the happiest boy, but he made the most of his costume and everyone walking by enjoyed it! It makes my heart beyond happy and excited that Alex has fully leaned in and is embracing his dog dad-ness! 💛
On Saturday, we enjoyed another morning stroll before seeing Andy and Shawn. Our friends from South Africa have been in the states for two years or so, but haven’t experienced a true, American Halloween celebration — so we had to show them the ropes ☺️ Alex and I joined them in watching the rugby world championship on Saturday afternoon, where we were joined by other South African supporters and even some New Zealand fans. It was an intense game and South Africa only won by one point! The atmosphere while watching the game was something Alex and I loved and we’d be happy to watch rugby with Andy and Shawn again anytime!
After celebrating and enjoying great food and drinks, we headed back to both mine and Alex’s places to start the Halloween shenanigans! I dressed as a witch and Alex wore a shirt that said, “Pretend I’m a broom!” while Andy and Shawn got into their Star Wars outfits — and had the coolest lightsabers!
Our celebrations were simple this year: dinner outside at Bantam and walking the Beltline to Ladybird for drinks and people watching. It was such a chill, fun night and I already can’t wait for next year! 🤗
Our day-of consisted of a long walk to Piedmont Park (drinks in hand and costumes on like Friday!) and watching Lin tear it up at the dog park. We even saw trick-or-treaters on our way back home, which was a nice surprise and made the Halloween festivities complete. 😌
Halloween is my favorite holiday, and not being able to spend it with my mom up in Michigan felt weird this year. The last couple halloweens (the actual day-of) haven’t been the greatest, but it was fun to feel in my element again and go out with best friends, my man and our stubborn dog! 😂
Media taken Friday, October 27, Saturday, October 28, & Tuesday, October 31, 2023.
Atlanta is the most dog friendly place Linley and I could’ve landed in! We’ve been loving all the dog park and pool time adventures—and Alex has fully embraced being a dog dad. 💛
We all look forward to more family adventures together… and stay tuned for more October posts that I’m behind on! 😉🙈
September has been one of the most positive and transformative months I’ve had all year. I couldn’t be happier in my relationship with Alex, in my new Atlanta home, and with where the rest of 2023 is heading. Before I get too lost in the future, I wanted to reflect on the past month and how much has changed – and how much I’ve grown – in this short period of time.
Two of Alex’s closest friends got engaged earlier in September, and I was able to be part of their special day. I feel blessed to have a partner and best friend who makes me feel so included, and to have a dad who helped me move all the way from Michigan!
I haven’t laughed or celebrated this hard and this much in a long time! September brought many cherished memories with Alex, Emily (who visited me my second weekend of being a new Atlanta resident!) and people I’ve met along the way.
Alex and I also celebrated his best friend from high school as she married the love of her life last weekend. We look forward to many more weddings and milestone celebrations together!
We befriended a lovely couple at Amy’s and Danny’s welcome dinner!
I wrote about my weekend in Grand Rapids and still can’t comprehend how perfect it was! I’ve been reflecting on my year in Michigan, what it’s like to be moving now vs. what it was like to move this time last year during the height of my divorce… It’s been an extremely cathartic and spiritual process. And with that, I can’t help but be grateful for the month I’ve had thus far.
The beginning of something beautiful with Alex 💛Leaving “my Alex” and running into one of my best friends Alex at the Atlanta airport!Reuniting for drinks with my high school golf coach!Golfing at sunrise with my dad 💛A fun weekend with an old friend, and a few new ones ☺️My dad wanting to take Linley to Home Depot!Hitting up Two James in Detroit with one of my best friends 🍸Linley stalking a baby raccoon in the neighbor’s shedMaking new friends with an old one 💛A fun night in Ann Arbor with Emily and Zac!Morning walks with LinleyBrewery Nyx last weekend 🍻Ladies night!A much-needed beach day with one of my oldest and closest friends 💛Homemade pizza with one of my oldest and closest friends (and her lovely husband!)Even Linley made a new friend this month!
Photos taken Thursday, August 3 through Monday, August 21, 2023.
My time with Andy and Shawn was everything I needed in one weekend: Relaxing, fulfilling with both profound and hilarious conversation, explorative and engaging. I desperately needed a weekend like that with two people I have recently been able to call friends.
My coworker and friend Andy, with her husband Shawn!
As soon as Andy and Shawn picked me up from the airport, I knew I was in for a great weekend! Andy and I became closer during our in-person team on-site back in August, and Shawn is an absolute gem. They both have been married before and have found true love in each other—which really inspired me as I somewhat begin my journey to find my true love and begin anew. The three of us stayed up until one or two in the morning catching up, and the rest of the weekend was full of laughs, great conversation and time outdoors.
Celebrating Lunar New Year!
Between exploring new places with somewhat new friends, spending time breathing in what felt like crisp, autumn air and spending hours laughing and learning with their South African friends, I couldn’t have asked for a better weekend with better people!
Cheers to more weekends together!
Photos taken Saturday, January 21 and Sunday, January 22, 2023
On New Years Eve, I sat with a couple girlfriends on the west side of Michigan, as we wrote down our “resolutions” (I put that word in quotation marks because I like to think of it as more ‘aspirational’ than specific, quantifiable ‘goals’). January has been an exceptionally hard month: seeing my ex-husband for the first time since our divorce and leaving Chicago, losing my dad’s best friend who we weren’t able to see prior to her passing, no longer being able to trust one of my male friends because he led me to believe he was someone he wasn’t, and my depression overall rapidly getting worse. Each month, I’m going to track my progress on each of my wishes for no one other than myself — but feel free to tag along if you wish.
Wish #1: ???
I decided to keep this one to myself for now, but plan to write more about this when the time is right.
Wish #2: Travel to South Africa, & plan other trips…
One of my best friends and her husband recently moved to Atlanta, Georgia from Johannesburg. Andy and I have worked together since the spring, and we became extremely close after all the project managers got together in person in August. Andy and Shawn are the kindest, funniest, most supportive people I could ask for in my life right now — both as individuals and as a couple. They’ve both been through difficult divorces in the past, and inspire me and give me hope that my true love exists — and that I’ll find him someday soon, without settling or compromising my beliefs or self worth. I visited them in Atlanta last weekend and I seriously needed all the laughs, time outdoors, lazy mornings watching TV and meeting more of their South African friends in the area.
Coincidentally, I’ve wanted to visit South Africa since I was about 10 years old. Andy and Shawn really want me to tag along with them the next time they return home. Whether that’s this summer or sometime in 2024, I look forward to my time with them, and to the other adventures abroad that are on the horizon for 2023.
Wish #3: Figure out my health bullshit!
As it turns out, I did indeed have a kidney infection, NOT a gallbladder or pancreas issue. Thank goodness I visited the Women’s Hospital of UofM, or else I probably would’ve had my gallbladder removed unnecessarily. If I still experience symptoms, I’ll be returning to the urologist for further testing, but for now I should be in the clear and my levels – and pain – are stable. I also made an appointment for my back problems and although my spine will never look the way I’d like it to, it was a relief to know that it “isn’t noticeable” to the average person — and now I can start planning for a new tattoo.
Wish #4: Find home in a physical place the way I have found home in myself…
I love who I am: I love how I look, I know what I deserve and I wouldn’t change anything about who I am as a person. HOWEVER, I do not feel at home here in Michigan. I left Michigan for a reason (or, several reasons…) and just because Chicago wasn’t my home either, doesn’t mean that I have to settle for less than I deserve here. Sure, some really good things have come out of me being here again, but my time here has been full of letdowns, false problems, and physical, emotional and mental pain. Maybe I’ll receive a permanent residency permit so I can live in Toronto. Maybe I’ll move somewhere closer to one of my best friends on the east coast. Maybe I’ll move to Charlotte, North Carolina because I had the best time with some of the best people this summer. Or maybe I’ll go somewhere totally new. The overwhelming possibilities are endless, but not all those who wander are lost.
Wish #5: More ink!
As previously mentioned, I’m planning my next tattoo, but am also working on finishing my foot/ankle and really want to get my dog’s paw print on my other ankle soon.
Wish #6: Find a passion – new or old.
I’m definitely getting back into music. As a kid, I was able to play three or four different instruments and found that music was a great outlet for me. Maybe I’ll get back into the piano or play something totally new — either way, I’m excited to explore this more. I also want to start swimming laps at a local gym every day, but am waiting until I relocate because figuring that out is like swimming laps in and of itself!
Wish #7: Heal from my marriage, time in Chicago, friendships ending…
It’s nearly impossible to put a timeline on this one. Progress isn’t linear with this one! Some days I feel on top of the world; others I feel like I’m drowning in my own depression, feeling like the universe is kicking me while I’m down. Seeing my ex-husband earlier in the month was necessary for my own healing, yet it was one of the saddest, heartbreaking things I’ve done. Being around someone you loved and who loved you for nearly a decade… and not being able to be with them in that capacity anymore… unless you’ve tried remaining friends with the person you thought was your soulmate is… hard to explain. It’s soul-crushing. I would give anything to go back to the good times where we both were happy — but my ex-husband doesn’t exactly feel the same way. I had to stare acceptance in the face and truly accept that things will never be as they were. Typing that even now – nearly a month later – feels daunting and depressing.
However… I am opening my heart where and when it needs to be open. I’m not only setting boundaries, but am finally adhering to them. I’m creating space for new friendships and new love, and although I’m losing hope, I haven’t fully given up yet. I wish I didn’t have to struggle this much and feel all this hurt within my heart — but I can only hope it all has to be worth it on the other side.
Wish #8: More bonding experiences with Lin!
I majorly need to step this one up. Because I live with my parents at the moment, Linley has shared the love between all three of us — making it hard to have that quality time I need with him. I hope to plan more adventures with Linley: before, during and after we relocate somewhere new. He’s the best dog in the whole world, and is my favorite adventure buddy!
Wish #9: More reading, cooking, exploring, saying “yes” and “no” when I want…
Saying “no” – even when it’s best for me – is still something I feel extremely guilty about. This is probably one of my biggest personal hurdles I need to jump leaps and bounds over this year. The good news is that I’m reading and cooking much more than I have in the past, and the exploring is still going strong! Over Martin Luther King Jr. weekend, my dad and I made homemade gluten free calzones and fish and chips. I’m excited to try even more recipes with the people I love most!
Wish #10: Finding community who loves and accepts me for me…
For the first time in my 29 years of life, I finally have this at work. I can be myself, crack my jokes, bring my personality to all of my projects, consultants and client teams, and feel valued for my contributions. I have never had community in my own family, or in my physical location. I hope to find this when I leave Michigan as well; I want to find that group who I feel deeply connected with and not for the sake of “fitting in” — but truly belonging as I am.
Traveling with the Traceys 