Ellie is our aunt’s and uncle’s 15-year-old pup, and boy do I absolutely love her! She’s practically nocturnal, gets random zoomies late at night and early in the morning, and she snores so loud all day… but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love our weekends (aka: “puppy parties”) with her, and we can’t wait to get Thing 1 and Thing 2 reunited on Christmas!
Media taken Thursday, December 11 – Saturday December 13, 2025🎄
I once withdrew my candidacy for a dream job. I would’ve been a partnership program manager for a large nonprofit based in DC, but would’ve been a remote employee with quarterly travel to DC and Arlington, VA. I would’ve been shaking hands with some pretty powerful people, helping nonprofits achieve their goals and partnering with them directly.
While doing more research on the organization, two things existed at once: I was both impressed with the causes I would’ve been supporting (accessible education, decreasing homelessness, etc.) AND scared of the ties the organization had to the libertarian/right-of-center political spectrum. Although the organization was clearly anti-Trump, it also appeared anti-inclusive.
I met with the recruiter a few days before my final, four-hour panel interview was scheduled. I had some questions and also was transparent in my political beliefs. I said, “I will never ask this question of you or the panel, but I want you to know where I stand. I’m an independent but am very left-leaning and although I don’t associate myself with the Democratic Party in our nation’s context, I do call myself a social democrat. I just wanted to be upfront about that because I do try to reach across party lines, but am fearful that I won’t be accepted here because my beliefs seem to differ from the majority’s.” I wanted to share this because I am the only person in my immediate family with LGBTQIA+ friends and progressive views, and know how uncomfortable and lonely it is to be the outsider.
She was shocked, but really respected what I shared. I’m sure she and I don’t agree politically, but we had an amazing, civil and even insightful conversation about it all. I respected how she handled my vulnerability and how she never made me feel judged during our conversation. THAT is what disagreements should look like.
HOWEVER, I do know the subtext: it’s likely that even though she was this way with ME, she may not have been this way with the people I support. I support my LGBTQIA+ friends and community so much so that it’s the main reason why I chose to share my political beliefs with this recruiter. I can’t say I’ve walked a day in my friends’ shoes, but I can say that I’ve gone through family estrangement and feeling like I don’t belong in many settings. My friend K is one of my best friends from Michigan, they’ve always included me and was even a friend I could go to when I didn’t have a place to spend during holidays. KP is probably my only true friend from Chicago and was by my side when I was losing my job and going through a really painful divorce. Gainer has been like a sister to me ever since we met each other here in Atlanta, and her girlfriend Nikki has also become this way for me, too. Heck, even one of my friends who I met through this platform has been an inspiration for me during really dark times (you know who you are!)
At a conceptual level, I’ve never understood homophobia or transphobia, but at a personal level, it confuses me even more. My LGBTQIA+ friends have accepted and loved me when others couldn’t, and I will continue to stand with them no matter what—even if that means pulling my hat out of the ring for a “dream job.”
One day I would love to work for a nonprofit that’s more aligned with my beliefs and ALL communities I support. But until then, I’m going to be the best ally I can be. 💛
November seemed a lot calmer than October, but things are changing just as the leaves did.
November was a good month and I’m excited to practice more mindfulness in scheduling, peacefulness and achieving my goals.
During my afternoon walk with Alex and Linley, I started talking about the rumination I was having during my morning walk with Linley. I couldn’t stop thinking about some harsh realities with certain friends. I couldn’t stop thinking about the radical acceptance I’ve been working so hard at in therapy. I couldn’t stop thinking about the radical honesty I needed to communicate with my friends, and myself. Boundaries. When to throw in the towel when I recognize patterns in certain people.
The version of me that knows the truth can see that I gave it my all with my brother, my ex, former friends, other family members and people in my life. The version of me that knows the truth knows that no matter what I would’ve done different, I probably still would’ve been lashed out at by certain friends, questioned by others, and judged by many people in my life. No matter what, I couldn’t have changed their views of me or the outcome of our relationship now.
The version of me that struggles with radical acceptance and honesty believes that it’s all my fault. Someone I had set boundaries with lashing out at me is all my fault. My ex leaving me is all my fault. My brother’s and my lack of a relationship is all my fault. My family’s judgment of me is all my fault. My friendships of ten plus years ending is all my fault. My not fitting in at certain workplaces is all my fault. You see the pattern here…
How can I work on coping with the fact that people have hurt me? All I want to do is blame myself. How can I realize that some relationships weren’t meant to last? All I want to do is reach out to Alissa, Danielle, Jaclyn, Dani, Terry, Brandon, Cass… but I know if I did, I would either be treated horribly, gaslighted or completely ignored.
I wish I’d learned how to communicate my feelings more effectively and in a timely manner, instead of telling Danielle “I don’t know what I did but just know I’ll always love you and you have a special place in my heart.” She probably thinks I ghosted her after ten years of friendship; what I really did was shield my pain because she did something that felt really unforgivable to me. But after four or five years of not speaking to her, who felt like a sister to me, does still eat me alive at times. It’s like that with quite a few people in my life, from my past.
But again: it’s “all my fault” and I carry all the weight and responsibility of others. It’s as though them hurting me is something I deserved, something that was my fault in the end.
How can I heal? How can I move on? My OCD and anxiety would love to know.
P.S.: I know deep down that I’ve never “thrown anyone away.” In fact, I held onto the pain and hurting for so long, that when I finally did say how I felt, friendships were ruined. But Brandon, a friend of over ten years, said this to me in the last message he’d ever sent me. When I go through a hard time, sometimes that sentence tears at me. ☹️
P.P.S.: I also know deep down that someone who would speak to me like this at all a) didn’t like that I had boundaries and/or said that I needed space while I was going through my divorce and b) doesn’t really know me like I had thought he did. In our last year or so of friendship, I constantly felt like my feelings were minimized and no matter what I said I had to walk on eggshells. So when I’d moved back to Michigan around the time he had also moved back, I couldn’t be around that or hear those things during my divorce finalization. Before that, Brandon had always been such a loving, caring friend, but something had changed when we were both going through our breakups. We couldn’t help each other the way we had before. And I have to accept that.
I hadn’t been to Tybee Island until the first weekend of November, and I already can’t wait to return! Alex, Linley, Courtney, Chris and I rode with Captain Seth on a charter boat through the marsh and sea of Tybee Island. It was nothing what we expected, but it was absolutely beautiful and I couldn’t be happier with the experience.
As mentioned, we first rode through the marsh in our tiny boat. Seth went fast and it was such a rush! The water was only three feet deep, and was a delta where all the rivers fed into the ocean sea. Our boat actually got stuck at one point, but Alex and I knew Seth would get us out of the mess. Afterward, he went faster again and I was smiling from ear to ear! Seth took us to a sand bar that basically felt like a private beach, and we enjoyed some stretching and running around as we watched the sun begin to set and the birds begin to flock.
Although Courtney and Chris were with us this time, and although Alex was there and we’ve been to the beach as a family before, I couldn’t help but think of all the sunrises that Linley and I experienced during our year in Chicago. I took him every single morning, and it honestly saved my life. I didn’t have many friends there, I’d lost my job and was going through a divorce at the same time. Our sunrises together taught me that I could start anew, and Linley had been my loyal sidekick through all of it. It’s always hard to look back on the past without dwelling on it, and it makes me appreciate the moments we have together now more than ever.
After our fun on the sandbar/private beach, just when I thought our experience couldn’t get any better, it did. We were going fast in the ocean when Seth decided to stop suddenly. As we came to a stop, we saw a family of dolphins approach our boat! I’ve never seen dolphins before and I couldn’t believe my eyes; I started tearing up, Alex started filming and Linley was whining away haha. It was truly a once in a lifetime experience and it took my breath away.
Being with my two favorite fellas, two of my close friends and someone who led us to that moment was truly an unforgettable experience. We watched the moon and rode fast again once the dolphins let us be.
The last part of our ride back to the dock was equally as breathtaking as I saw the most beautiful sunset, which reminded me of a safari. I’ve seen sunsets in a few different countries and continents, but there was something really special about this one.
I didn’t get a horizontal picture of the sunset or photos of the constellations in the sky at night, but I’ll never forget any of it.
Until next time. 🫶
Media taken Saturday, November 1 on Tybee Island, Georgia. 🌅
October was a month of some serious ups and a few downs, but all-in-all, November has some big shoes to fill. 😉
This past weekend was so much fun, that I wanted to dedicate a second post toward Atlanta Pride! We do things different here in Georgia: Atlanta Pride is usually the second weekend of October, and Savannah Pride (also fun!), is typically the weekend after. Why do we do it this way? Well, it’s super hot in June so we push it out for that reason, but also to get people north of us to come visit these two amazing southern cities!
We won’t be able to make Savannah Pride this year because we’ll be visiting Halloween weekend, but I had a blast at my first Atlanta Pride! Ironically, our three LGBTQIA+ besties were all out of town, so Alex, Linley and I went as the Tracey Trio allies. We took a lovely stroll down memory lane (well, down old streets I used to live on to get to the parade) and posted up at a great spot. We even saw two of Alex’s coworker friends, too!
Dancing to all the music while admiring all the creative floats, costumes and signs was an absolute blast. Delta was there, along with other big companies in Atlanta like Coca Cola, The Georgia Aquarium and more. See for yourself… 😉
After the parade, we made our way to Piedmont Park for some drinks, free goodies and celebration! A little boy gave us each a pride flag on our walk over, and I was really proud of his parents/family for raising him right. 🫶 We even ran into our besties Devin and Jesse, too; they recognized Lin in the crowd with his rainbow bandanna and his smile and tail wag 🥹
I’m proud that I live where I do. I’m proud that I have a partner who not only sees the importance of pride, but who genuinely wants to join in on events like this (and has a blast with me!). And I’m proud that Lin didn’t get overstimulated until the very end of the afternoon 😅
And so we strolled back home through “memory lane” with big smiles…
Media taken Sunday, October 12, 2025 in Midtown & Piedmont Park, Atlanta.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
This past Friday, Alex and I had dinner with two other couples: one who Alex has known since college, and the other who we met at the college couple’s wedding last May.
The dinner we had brought me so much joy and I had so many great epiphanies from our time together:
The rest of our weekend was wonderful too, except for Sunday evening. I’d reconnected with a friend who is going through a hard time, and used me as a “punching bag” this past year because of it. She’d admitted that she was angry and jealous of me and that’s part of why she treated me as she did. But truth be told: I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to trust her the same way ever again.
My relationship OCD wants to fixate on that conversation instead of all the good that happened this weekend and week, including our fulfilling triple-double-date, hanging out with our buddy Matt, taking Linley to his third-annual Splish Splash Doggie Bash, and having a great conversation (and hugs!) with my bestie Grace last night.
I couldn’t be more grateful for my friends who make me feel at home, and I’m not going to let one bad apple ruin my weekend or night’s sleep again…
…the leaves are changing, and so am I. 🙂✨
Media taken Friday, October 3 – Wednesday, October 8 in Atlanta, Georgia. 🍂
I decided I’m going to make a new blog page about all our Tracey Trio adventures from July onward. It’s been a couples months of healing, facing hard truths and resilience. That said, it’s been wonderful to heal, laugh and love with Alex and Linley by my side.
Our summer adventures were so much fun and I can’t wait for more together!
I love the fall, but I’m not ready for it this year. The summer was just too good! Last summer, I was overcoming a back injury and could barely even walk Linley without being in pain. This summer, I did all the things I couldn’t before… and then some!
There were so many firsts for Alex, like camping and whitewater rafting, and so many for me as well. I can’t wait for more adventures as a couple, and as the “Tracey Trio,” even if that means cooler weather and changing leaves. 😌
On Friday, we went to our second Aqua Vino event at the aquarium again. To think a year ago, Hurricane Helene was coming through Atlanta and completely devastated Asheville… it’s quite wild. Not only did I come a long way since last year, but the Southeast did as well #southeaststrong
Saturday was also a ton of fun because we took it easy, explored a new part of the city during a block party, and enjoyed a chill evening together. At the block party, we saw dogs who were trained to do all these tricks with frisbees, too!
Sunday was also great, as we enjoyed a gluten free brewery event with one of our neighbors and her adorable pup, Brody! It was such a great afternoon, and I can’t wait for more memories!
Although I’ve been navigating career, friend and family stuff lately, I couldn’t be more grateful for living in the moment, enjoying the little things and for all the laughter I’ve had this summer. 💛
Media taken Friday, September 26 – Sunday, September 28, 2025 in Atlanta, Georgia 🍑
A couple weeks ago, I wrote about my time in Michigan and how it wasn’t the weekend I was hoping it would be. I’ve been feeling misunderstood and unheard in my career, in my friend groups, and in my family. I’ve been pushing myself to write because I truly haven’t felt like it in a while, but I know it’s good for me to get my feelings out of my head.
I’m extremely grateful for Alex, who has continued to try new things with me, explore new places with me and has encouraged me to do what I love most. The friends I’ve made through him feel like family and I’m forever grateful to them and him for that.
Even when times are uncertain and things feel rocky, there are people who care about you and love you. I need to remind myself of that, too.
Linley has been my best friend for eight years, Alex’s best friend for two years, and we think he’s ~11 years old as of yesterday.
Although we couldn’t celebrate as hard as we’d like (Linley is on the tail end of kennel cough!), we had a wonderful day, made it extra special for Linley, and can’t wait to celebrate our little guy all month long!
Linley, we love you!!! 💛
Media taken on Tuesday, September 9 for Linley’s Gotcha Day!
Traveling with the Traceys 