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One Year Anniversaries

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August 3-4 | One Year Together

It’s hard to believe that on August 3, 2023 I got on a plane to meet Alex for the very first time. And the day after, I told Alex I wanted to be his girlfriend, and wanted him to be my boyfriend. I had such a great weekend recreating our first weekend together — even though things looked different this year (one of our best friends stayed with us through the weekend since her roommates had covid, and we’d just found out that Linley needed surgery).

On Friday, August 2, Alex, our friend and I went to one of our favorite Thai places in Midtown Atlanta, followed by a late-night trip to Bantam for some drinks. Saturday, August 3 was full of memories from the previous year: Torched Hop brunch, time with Alex and Linley at the Westside Motor Lounge and Scofflaw Brewing, then our friends Alex G. and Tyler joined us for some margs nearby and a nice dinner at Ruby’s Chows — our favorite “fancier” place to go. Sunday, August 4 was spent the five of us (including Lin!) until I joined the Alex’s at Park Bar and another great Atlanta United soccer game.

Not only was the weekend special because of Alex and Lin, but also because I didn’t know Tyler and Alex G. a year ago. I feel blessed to have such incredible friends, and an incredible partner in my new home. ❤

September 9 | One year in Atlanta (and Lin’s Gotcha Day!)

One year ago today, I celebrated six years of adopting Linley… and today I’m celebrating seven years as his best friend! On this day last year, Linley, my dad and I all arrived in Atlanta for moving day — where Linley met his new dad for the first time. Alex and Linley have bonded since day one, making these past two “gotcha days” so incredibly special. AND Linley’s doing great but he needed an overnight surgery last month, which gives us all the more reason to celebrate.

I look forward to more years and memories to come. ❤

Journey to Alex 💛

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[Spoiler alert: Yes, this will ultimately be a lovely post about Alex’s and my love story, but I need to explain the hell I’ve been through to make you appreciate the journey more. 💛]

From last weekend’s anniversary dinner

In May of 2023, I was blindsided by someone I was “dating” long-distance (I put “dating” in quotes because I thought we were dating; he claimed we weren’t after the fact…) I’d known this person since February and we spoke every day, made efforts to see each other when possible… but then one day around Mother’s Day, he ghosted, then “zombied” (which is coming back from ghosting with a bunch of excuses), then ghosted again. Although I had zero interest in being with this individual after nearly a week or more of not answering my messages, he was a narcissist and claimed that me asking questions about what happened and why he ghosted was “wasting each others’ time” and that he didn’t want to “lead me on” as I was trying to find closure. Even when I said that I wanted feedback for the man I was actually meant to be with (NOT him), his gaslighting was through the roof.

The above bullshit (pardon my French) took place during and after my marriage. The rollercoaster of addiction (including “dry drunk” behaviors for over five+ years), the physical and emotional abandonment and gaslighting/lack of accountability ran rampant no matter how “good” we were, where we lived or how much quality time we even spent together. After the marriage ended, I felt like I had this revolving door of men — even though I wasn’t seeking male attention or making first moves. I was blindsided, ghosted, used… by about four or five guys before I’d met Alex, and as mad as I am at them, I’m disappointed that I hadn’t set better boundaries – both physical and emotional – after the divorce.

[TLDR: My whole life has been spent searching for the love from someone else who sees me the way *I* see *myself.* A lot of people may think I seem insecure or like a love addict myself, when really I’ve always wanted that best friend who truly saw me, loved to spend time and travel with me, who would laugh with me and hug me even on our hardest days… all because I never had a stable, grounded family life. I’ve been confident in myself and who I am since day one, and finding someone who felt the same about me AND themself has been a challenge… all until I met Alex…]

On Father’s Day weekend of 2023, Linley and I went camping on what used to be our annual Empire Trail and Beach hike in northern Michigan, when we lived in the Midwest. (Let’s face facts: Linley is and always will be my first love, my partner in crime, my best friend!) Spending time in nature snuggled up with my little guy made me realize that there was someone out there for me; I just had to be more intentional in finding him (re: insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results).

I’d known I would be moving to Atlanta later that summer/early fall by this point, so why not try online dating with someone who a) was also dating intentionally and b) would want to get to know me before I even moved to Atlanta and c) I could be honest about my past marriage and dating history with. So, I did just that!

I joined Coffee Meets Bagel on June 23, had matches starting June 24, and matched with Alex on June 27 of 2023 (I have problems, don’t ask me how I can remember those dates!) Our first phone call was July 4, our first video call was probably less than a week after that, we left audio messages on days we couldn’t video chat and even saw each other in person twice in one month before I’d moved down here on Linley’s Gotcha Day. I’d known I loved Alex since before even meeting him in person last summer, but I knew I was in love with him late August/early September.

Vancouver in late August, 2023
Biking around Stanley Park!
Boat ride and orca sighting in Seattle!

Over the weekend, we celebrated our one year anniversary. I can’t wait to share more about how we recreated our first weekend together! But for now, I wanted to write the above for ME, because I don’t think I’ve ever really wrote about the journey — even for myself. 💛

Upstate New York

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I struggled to write about my time in New York with Alex and his family because this was the first family trip I’ve taken in over 13 years. I remember feeling excited when talking with Alex about this trip last year – which was before we were even officially dating – and although it’s painful I don’t have these experiences with the family I was born into, it’s wonderful to have them with the family I now belong to.

Oddly enough, we never took family photos. We were living in the moment, enjoying each other’s company along the St. Lawrence River in Clayton, New York. Alex, Linley and I stayed in an awesome home on a little island — where Linley ran free and had the time of his life. The quality time with Alex and Lin meant so much to me, as did the time getting to know Alex’s extended family throughout the week.

I miss having coffee with Alex in the sun room every morning. I miss being outside with Lin and having lazy mornings together. I miss the walks into town as a trio and the places we’d see along the river. I miss hearing the waves crash against the rocks and I miss the sun on my skin — when I felt totally relaxed and at ease. I miss how Alex and I would look at each other and say “I love you,” knowing we were about to have a great day together.

I wish I could go back to those moments and vacationing with Alex and Linley all over again… until next summer 💛 I look forward to sharing more about the trip in the coming days!

Media taken July, 2024

Exploring DC (ft. Buddy the butterfly)

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I wrote about visiting my best friend, her husband, baby girl and pup in Alexandria last time. What a special reunion that was! And it was nice that Alex and I had a good chunk of the weekend to pop into DC and check out the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History together.

We had a blast in the museum learning about gems, our ancestors and even where the planet’s going (scary, for sure!). I loved having Alex by my side — commenting about what we saw and having a personal comedian along the way! Our favorite part by far was the butterfly pavilion, where I made a new friend Buddy.

Buddy the butterfly hung out on my hand for about 15-20 minutes! He was truly a friend by the end of the experience, and I was really sad when he finally decided to fly away. I’m grateful Alex snapped these pics to capture the moment and how beautiful Buddy was. Alex also had a temporary visitor, whose name goes unknown…

Honestly, it’s all the little things with Alex. It’s the butterflies landing on us. It’s the first subway ride we took together. It’s the realization that you’re walking in such a cool city together. It’s the fact that I didn’t have to visit Carolyn and Ryan by myself this time. All those “little things” truly add up to larger ones.

We headed to the wharf after strolling through the museum for a much needed seafood lunch and some good drinks. We may or may not have had three or four each — including the most expensive espresso martinis we’ve had (stupid bartender… but worth it!). What a great nap we had afterward haha!

Of course, Lin wasn’t too happy that we didn’t bring him along, but he probably would’ve panicked in the pavilion!

Until next time, DC!

Photos taken Sunday, July 7, 2024

Celebrating six months in Atlanta!

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Yesterday was my six month anniversary of living in Atlanta, Georgia — and all I can say is that I’m in awe of my life now. I dreamed of this happiness as a young child and haven’t felt this good for this long… ever. The love Alex and I share, the relationship I have with Alex’s family, his friends who have welcomed me and the friends I’ve met since moving here are all beyond my wildest dreams. With happy tears in my eyes, I can tell you this is the best life I’m living for myself — and young me would be very proud.

Photos taken September 2023 – March 9, 2024.

Damn good seafood!

/ Cate Tracey / 2 Comments

Today I sit with my first positive Covid test since the pandemic (yes, you read that right: I only had Covid in January 2020 before we know what it was, and this weekend…) BUT I had an awesome week before this happened and wanted to share some good eats. 💛

Alex and I went to Lure — a delicious seafood spot here in Midtown, Atlanta. I was excited some espresso martinis (with tequila instead of vodka!), tasty fish and to eat my bodyweight in oysters. Alex ordered the swordfish for me to try and I ordered one of my favorites: sea bass, this time with a tomato broth. Thank goodness I could actually taste my food then, because it was the best meal I’ve had in a while!

We also had to take our classic “Here Cate, hold both drinks” photo:

…and here’s a few more since we met:

I’m thankful I have a permanent dinner date who loves being goofy as much as I do! 🤗

Turns out, I get the “two-drink photo” from my parents… ☺️

My happiest holiday

/ Cate Tracey / 10 Comments

To feel a true sense of belonging and welcoming from Alex and his family means more than I can’t put into words.

When I was living in the Midwest, I had to scramble to find alternate holiday plans. I don’t mean to be a Grinch with what I share below, but I do want to set the tone for how past holidays with my immediate family would go: There was absolutely no way that I would spend a day of gratitude and love with my brother and his wife who I’m estranged from, or parents who will never love me the way they love my brother, or family members who judged me for being with men who weren’t white, for my tattoos or for my willingness to go to therapy to break our toxic family cycles of generational trauma. Short story long: I always spent time with friends and their families to avoid what I would deem as nothing short of toxic.

The only cousin I’m close to and her fiancé Ben visited us a couple weekends ago, and it was a great way to kick off the holidays! We played games until midnight and had fun at some of our favorite local restaurants. I love Katy more than she’ll ever know. 💛

Last month, I made a new friend while taking Linley to the dog park on one of my days off. Ariel and I went on our first “friend date” of many, and even Alex loved how close we became! It was definitely fate. ✨

Alex’s and my first Christmas together was nothing short of amazing. And it’ll be the first of many. 🥰 Linley and I had so much fun with his family relaxing in the morning, eating great food throughout the day and enjoying some espresso martinis along the way. Alex and his family welcomed us and have made us feel a sense of belonging since the moment we moved down to Georgia in September. We couldn’t feel more lucky. 🥹

And just because I’m feeling this grateful and loved, here are some other fun December photos we took this month:

✨Photos taken December 2023, Atlanta, GA✨

Thankful Pt. II

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When you aren’t close with family, holidays can be rough (at least they have been for me!) I’m thankful I’ll be spending the holidays with a man who happens to have a great family, who sees and loves me for who I am, and just so happens to be my best friend. 💛

Who and what are your thankful for this holiday season? ☺️

Congratulations to Jess and Dallas!

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On Thursday afternoon I wrapped up my workday as quickly as possible so I could fly to Southern California and celebrate two of my good friends. Jess and I met through work about a year and a half ago and instantly clicked, so being invited to celebrate her love and special day with her fiancée Dallas was a huge honor.

I stayed in Huntington Beach my first night and it felt great to grab the rental car, some Flaming Hot Cheetos and get some good sleep. My host was so sweet and gave me local recommendations for my next morning, which I appreciated very much. On Friday morning, I drove along the Pacific Highway and got to dip my toes in the Pacific Ocean once more.

(Well, maybe it wasn’t as graceful as dipping my toes, but you get the point!)

I arrived at the perfect time before it got too busy, and luckily I was able to change into my shorts in the car once the waves took over my dry jeans! I changed, then ran to the ocean as quickly as I could, feeling like a little kid on a family vacation all over again. I smiled and laughed and let the sun hit my face while the waves drew me in. If only I’d had more time to enjoy it…

I knew I had to leave and I did at the perfect time; it was time for a nearly two-hour drive east toward Temecula, for a quick stop at my next and final AirBnB so I could attend the big event. I made it just in time and headed over to Lake Oak Winery — one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been invited to in my lifetime.

Another one of my favorite coworkers was invited to the wedding, and hanging out with Jeff and his wife Karen made my night even more fun and special! The drinks and conversation flowed the whole time, even in the beginning… Jess and Dallas’s ceremony was beautiful and made me tear up right away. It was amazing seeing one of my somewhat newer friends marry the love of her life — who is also quickly becoming a dear friend of mine, too. Both of my friends looked absolutely stunning in their dresses, but their smiles and reactions to each other were even more beautiful. Jeff, Karen and I were immediately in tears as we saw both brides meet each other to walk down the isle together. We couldn’t have been any happier for people who deserved it more than anyone!

The next morning, I had nice conversation with my AirBnB host before meeting Jeff and Karen for a much-needed espresso martini and goat cheese pizza (yes, you heard that correctly!). I swear I could sit and talk with Karen and Jeff all day long; they made my solo trip to California better than I could’ve imagined. After parting ways, I decided to spend the afternoon at Glen Ivy Hot Springs on my way northwest back to LAX. It was the perfect day full of sunshine, gratitude and calmness before taking a redeye flight home.

As much fun as I had, I realized how solo travel isn’t as appealing to me anymore (never thought you’d hear me say that, huh?!). I missed Alex like crazy. Although we haven’t been together more than a couple months, I feel like I’ve known him my whole life. He’s my favorite travel buddy, is the love of my life and has quickly become my best friend. Every text, photo update of his and Linley’s “bro weekend,” phone call or video call lit my heart up immensely. As honored as I was to be there for Jess and Dallas and to spend more time with Jeff and Karen, it would’ve been exponentially better had he been there by my side. Taking a redeye Spirit flight was trash to say the very least, but worth it because I wanted to rush back to see Alex and our pup!

All in all, it was an amazing weekend in Southern California, but I’m happy to be back home. 💛

Media taken Friday, October 13 and Saturday, October 14, 2023.

Vancouver to Seattle

/ Cate Tracey / 3 Comments

I love Alex. I love Vancouver. I love Seattle. I love all the memories made and food we ate and drinks we downed and laughs we shared. This adventure couldn’t have gone any better. As bittersweet as it was to leave Vancouver – and inch toward concluding our trip altogether – I know my move to Atlanta is approaching and I couldn’t be more excited about my/our future.

Alex and I stopped at a Chinese bakery on our way out of the city on Sunday, and ironically ran into Uncle Joe and Aunt Trish again! We shared some quick hugs and laughs regarding the situation, then bounced to get through customs and return the rental car in Seattle at a decent time. When the representative at customs asked how we knew each other, we both looked at one another and said, “We’re dating,” all giddy like we were kids again haha.

Our afternoon was spent wandering around Pike Place after dropping off the car and our bags, and I started to feel like myself again (my nightmares and wildfire smoke ingestion made me feel like I’d been in a fog all morning). Another Irish pub drinks and food, along with enjoying Alex’s company through the market as we checked out different stores, made everything better. I’d been to that area only once before, and holding Alex’s hand this time made for a much different and insurmountably fulfilling experience. We freshened up, met his cousin Jason for drinks at a local bar, and even made a new stranger-turned-friend Jennifer!

As enjoyable as a day I’d had with Alex, the best was yet to come; Alex had been on a boat tour a few days prior but recommended we go together at sunset this time. It didn’t disappoint! In fact, it was nothing short of magical (sorry, Disney!) With white wine and chips in tow, Alex and I snuggled up next to each other and soaked in the sun and the views. We saw other ships pass by and the sunset was awe-inspiring. The photos Alex and I took together are perfect representations of how much fun I was having—and how much I deeply care about this man. Heck, we even saw orcas, which I didn’t even see in Iceland! It was super sweet because Alex waited for me by the ladder from the bathroom, and helped me up so I could watch the whales with him. 💛

I always pose with both our drinks, so I made Alex do the same 😅🙈
Posting this one for you, Alex, because it’s your favorite ☺️
One of my personal favorites 🤩

Seeing the city at night was super cool, despite it being “the end.” Alex and I were given a blanket to cuddle up in and we definitely made the most of it. What an amazing bookend to an unforgettable vacation! Instead of seafood one last time, we went to a sketchy McDonald’s and enjoyed eating in bed before spending one last night in the Pacific Northwest together. I can’t wait to spend more time with Alex once I move in a few days; I miss him already.

Media taken Sunday, August 27, 2023.

Saturday in Vancouver

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…and here I thought Friday was the perfect day…

Saturday was *even more* sentimental for me. After some subpar Turkish coffee, Alex and I hit the bike rental place and rode through Stanley Park for a few hours in the morning. I’d done rides along Lake Michigan in Chicago and Mackinac Island and other cities, but I’ve never done anything like that with a guy—especially *my* guy. I was enjoying the views but being behind Alex really distracted me, haha! I felt like a kid again, riding downhill with my legs stretched out and yelling “woo!” I even took a dip in the ocean and wished I had my swimsuit on. To my surprise, I wasn’t sore from the uphill trek and every visitor should rent a bike and check out Stanley Park.

Although nervous, I was excited to meet Alex’s uncle, aunt and some family friends at a Chinese seafood restaurant just outside of Vancouver. I felt incredibly welcomed and Alex made me feel important—truly like a priority in his life, and in his family. I’m glad I wore a dress instead of pants because all the scallops, shrimp dumplings, crab paella and mango pudding I ate was out of this world! And the conversation was as filling as the food. Alex, his Uncle Joe, Aunt Trish and I even went to a Chinese market in the mall afterward and it was nice to have that extra time with them.

After a much-needed late afternoon nap and refresh, Alex and I meandered through a local block party, where Alex bought me some art and we shared some drinks and laughs at a local Irish pub with live music. Every moment like this makes me fall for him more and more; I haven’t felt this intrigued in and this important to anyone ever before.

There was another restaurant Alex spotted that was near our waterfront bar the night before, so we obviously had to check it out! It was our last night in Vancouver before heading back to Seattle, and I was savoring the espresso martinis, seafood and memories with Alex tenfold.

We both agreed we’d be back. 💛

Photos taken Saturday, August 26, 2023.

Fifth-Annual Empire, Michigan Trip

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As Linley was heading over to my house for his drop off in 2017, I was researching the best hiking trails for dogs when I stumbled across Empire Bluff Trail in northern Michigan. We’ve ventured up there every year since 2018, and last weekend was no exception.

Although he probably wouldn’t consider himself this to me, my “ex” was traveling with friends last weekend, and I knew I had to do something to distract myself from all the negative self-talk and anxiety-inducing thoughts. What a perfect time to take Linley on our fifth-annual trip! Linley may not be able to talk, but man is he a good listener, haha! And Linley is definitely cuter… he’s my best friend after all. I knew my mind was often sidetracked but I still had such an enjoyable, memorable weekend with my pup!

Linley and I first dropped things off at our yurt on Saturday. It was such a cute set up, and our hosts Jen and Jeff (the property owners) were super helpful, responsive and downright kind—which is par for the course up north. I know I’m skipping ahead a bit, but I’ll say Linley and I both got great sleep in our yurt!

Empire Bluff Trail was our first adventure of the day, which is a shady, uphill trail until you reach the top of a gorgeous sand dune. As Linley marked and panted his way upward, I was able to take in some stunning views (it was the first time I saw a deer up here!).

Our favorite thing to do is nap it out and soak up some rays and views before heading back down. Without fail, Linley always digs himself a cooler spot in the sand—and it’s my absolute favorite thing to watch.

Upon waking up, Linley and I overheard people gathering for what sounded to be a wedding. In all my time up here, I’d never seen a wedding, or even thought it to be a possibility. I met my ex on vacation because I crashed his friend’s bachelor party, and here Linley and I are almost crashing a wedding haha! We woke up, headed back down the trail, and snapped some photos along the way.

Of course we had to hit the dog-friendly Empire Beach afterward! We didn’t spend too much time in the water, but we did lounge on the sand and Linley got some attention—both from little kids and adults! He did some digging while I did some reading, and we snuggled up to watch the sunset together.

By the evening hit, we were pooped. We headed back to the yurt, snuggled up for bed and slept like babies. I may have missed the stars at night, but I’m happy I finally got some good sleep—especially with my favorite nap buddy by my side.

After a lazy morning, we decided to hit a new beach – part of the Sleeping Bear Dunes – before heading south. Esch Beach is a large stretch of Lake Michigan with half being welcoming for dogs. All these years and I’ve never even heard of this beach, so it was cool to check it out!

Heartbreak, feeling used and led on, manipulated… not really knowing if he was honest from the beginning… all sucks. It’s made me feel extremely depressed, as has knowing he probably doesn’t care about me at all (and never did). But I’ll say that having Linley helped me get through my divorce last year, and spending time with him is helping me now—as always. 💛

Media taken Saturday, June 17 and Sunday, June 18, 2023.