I deleted yesterday’s post because although people are trying to be helpful, phrases like “enjoy the moment” and “patience is a virtue” – among other cliques – can be harmful post-breakup. Phrases like that can actually minimize someone’s pain, and the only way to mend a broken heart is to feel all stages of grief. I need to heal on my own, in my own way. 💛
That said, I wanted to repost the photos I’d shared because these memories have brought me joy and have made me smile lately, and I hope they do the same for you! 😌
Linley is always my best friend, but lately he hasn’t been my “little white shadow!” When we moved back in with my parents in September, I knew he’d be sharing his love between my mom, dad and me; however, I’ve missed his and my bonding time that we had so much of in Chicago.
My parents left for Florida on Monday and return today, as they always do between the holidays. Linley was back at my side 24/7, and we had quite the fun and relaxing week full of snuggles! I even took him into the office and through Starbucks for a much-needed pup cup this week, where he made a new friend Sugar.
We’re super pumped to see my parents later this afternoon, but I’ll miss this little guy right at my side.
Media taken December 27 through December 30, 2022.
29. Divorced. Living with my parents. May not be able to afford a home. Don’t know where I want to live, or if I even want to stay in Michigan.
“If I stay in Michigan, am I settling? Am I a failure if I stay here? Am I a failure if I move away again and hate it? Did I cause my marriage to fail? Will my heart ever be whole again?”
All of these feelings are flooding my mind lately. I have been feeding “the bad wolf.”
BUT I have also been feeding “the good wolf.”
“Maybe I need to be surrounded by some of my best friends and parents in Michigan right now. Maybe if I were living by myself I would feel even more alone. Maybe I don’t have to have all the answers on where to live yet, and maybe I can travel a bit to figure that out. Or stay put. I don’t have to do a damn thing if I don’t want to!”
Although being here (‘here’ means being around certain people) reminds of me times that I’ve been hurt, I’m also finding new and old friendships pulling me out of despair and into a feeling of inclusion and, dare I say, home.
Detroit Red Wings!Facts!Dive bar in Grand Rapids!Bowling with Crystal!A salty dog!Linley the snow bunny!
Chicago probably isn’t in the cards; I gave that place and experience my everything. But if I stay in Michigan, I’m not a failure. If I move away and hate it, I’m not a failure. If I move away and love it, I’m not a failure. If I ever find love again and it doesn’t pan out the way I want it to, I’m not a failure. I’m not a failure for spending thanksgiving with another family other than my own. And I’m certainly not a failure for feeling all these conflicting emotions while I’m healing my broken heart. ❤️
As my last couple of weeks in the mitten come to a close, I move into my new season of life with a full heart. I was able to spend time with my best friends and although no time spent is ever enough, I’m heading to my new home with happiness and peace in my decisions. I could think that my time in Michigan was filled with “lasts,” but I’m truly elated for all of the upcoming “firsts” to be experienced with my small family unit 😌
September 1 – spending the evening with an old neighbor/friend, and our dogs
September 2 – celebrating a friend’s birthday with sushi and cocktails in Ann Arbor
September 3 – a long overdue phone call with one of my best friends from Asheville
September 4 – all-day quality time with one of my best friends and our dogs, filled with much needed conversations and exploring
September 5 – breakfast with a dear friend who instantly makes me feel at home, and floating in Ann Arbor with two friends and Linley
September 6 – a morning walk along the river
September 7 – floating down some rapids with one of my best friends, right before the storm
September 8 – spending nearly all day on the couch with Juan, watching Never Have I Ever while I worked
September 9 – Linley’s “Gotcha Day!” festivities
September 10 – we received an offer on our house and took Linley on a nice afternoon walk
September 11 – Linley’s third Doggie Splash and dinner with good friends
September 12 – our last hike at the arboretum
September 13 – morning snuggles with Juan and Linley before work and a much-needed phone call with a dear friend
September 14 – a night on the town, all on my friend Donna
September 15 – another great night with a friend in Detroit, and watching Lin run and play with his friends
Four years ago, I saw Lin’s sweet face on PetFinder and we rescued each other. The poor fella was abused, abandoned and had two days until euthanasia in Texas. He has been through so much, and I’ve been trying to make his life a brighter place ever since September 9, 2017.
Each Gotcha Day (birthday for rescue pups) I’ve tried extra hard to make his day even more special. This year, we kicked off our day with an hour-long hike in the woods. He enjoyed marking his territory, and we even saw some deer!
While I worked, we spent the entire day snuggling on the couch – which is one of our favorite pastimes 💛
After work, Juan and I took him to one of our favorite downtown areas and strolled along the river. Per usual, we had a great walk as a family.
We wrapped up our lovely celebration by running around with puppers at the dog park, treating Lin to some ice cream, and snuggles before bedtime ☺️
I can only hope that Linley is as happy as he’s made us throughout these past four years 🐶
Traveling with the Traceys 