March was our best month yet! Our best friends got married in one of our favorite places, we were married at one of our favorite places, and we had the honeymoon roadtrip of a lifetime as a trio. Although more photos of all that will come, I wanted to share the disposable camera photos our friends and family took during our reception. I immediately knew having these out would be a hit, and what a great idea it was! I look forward to seeing more photos soon, but here’s what we have so far…
Maddie and Quinten, our officiant (on my right)The one and only Sahil!Ariel and Alex!Our venue and second homeCousins Catherine and ReaganOur signature drinksMom and Linley, our bestest ring bearerOur lovely bartenders, Justin and Kyle!Jesse!!!My lovely best friend, Carolina✨Wait, there were three Matt’s?!Our lovely photographer, Trizzie!Uncle Ray… hahaReagan, Alex Matlock and cousin JasonDancing as newlywedsOh boy… hahaOne happy brideOne hammered groom… haha
Photos taken Saturday, March 8, 2025 at Bantam Pub in Atlanta, GA. ✨
It’s hard to believe that on August 3, 2023 I got on a plane to meet Alex for the very first time. And the day after, I told Alex I wanted to be his girlfriend, and wanted him to be my boyfriend. I had such a great weekend recreating our first weekend together — even though things looked different this year (one of our best friends stayed with us through the weekend since her roommates had covid, and we’d just found out that Linley needed surgery).
On Friday, August 2, Alex, our friend and I went to one of our favorite Thai places in Midtown Atlanta, followed by a late-night trip to Bantam for some drinks. Saturday, August 3 was full of memories from the previous year: Torched Hop brunch, time with Alex and Linley at the Westside Motor Lounge and Scofflaw Brewing, then our friends Alex G. and Tyler joined us for some margs nearby and a nice dinner at Ruby’s Chows — our favorite “fancier” place to go. Sunday, August 4 was spent the five of us (including Lin!) until I joined the Alex’s at Park Bar and another great Atlanta United soccer game.
Not only was the weekend special because of Alex and Lin, but also because I didn’t know Tyler and Alex G. a year ago. I feel blessed to have such incredible friends, and an incredible partner in my new home. ❤
September 9 | One year in Atlanta (and Lin’s Gotcha Day!)
One year ago today, I celebrated six years of adopting Linley… and today I’m celebrating seven years as his best friend! On this day last year, Linley, my dad and I all arrived in Atlanta for moving day — where Linley met his new dad for the first time. Alex and Linley have bonded since day one, making these past two “gotcha days” so incredibly special. AND Linley’s doing great but he needed an overnight surgery last month, which gives us all the more reason to celebrate.
I look forward to more years and memories to come. ❤
[Spoiler alert: Yes, this will ultimately be a lovely post about Alex’s and my love story, but I need to explain the hell I’ve been through to make you appreciate the journey more. 💛]
From last weekend’s anniversary dinner
In May of 2023, I was blindsided by someone I was “dating” long-distance (I put “dating” in quotes because I thought we were dating; he claimed we weren’t after the fact…) I’d known this person since February and we spoke every day, made efforts to see each other when possible… but then one day around Mother’s Day, he ghosted, then “zombied” (which is coming back from ghosting with a bunch of excuses), then ghosted again. Although I had zero interest in being with this individual after nearly a week or more of not answering my messages, he was a narcissist and claimed that me asking questions about what happened and why he ghosted was “wasting each others’ time” and that he didn’t want to “lead me on” as I was trying to find closure. Even when I said that I wanted feedback for the man I was actually meant to be with (NOT him), his gaslighting was through the roof.
The above bullshit (pardon my French) took place during and after my marriage. The rollercoaster of addiction (including “dry drunk” behaviors for over five+ years), the physical and emotional abandonment and gaslighting/lack of accountability ran rampant no matter how “good” we were, where we lived or how much quality time we even spent together. After the marriage ended, I felt like I had this revolving door of men — even though I wasn’t seeking male attention or making first moves. I was blindsided, ghosted, used… by about four or five guys before I’d met Alex, and as mad as I am at them, I’m disappointed that I hadn’t set better boundaries – both physical and emotional – after the divorce.
[TLDR: My whole life has been spent searching for the love from someone else who sees me the way *I* see *myself.* A lot of people may think I seem insecure or like a love addict myself, when really I’ve always wanted that best friend who truly saw me, loved to spend time and travel with me, who would laugh with me and hug me even on our hardest days… all because I never had a stable, grounded family life. I’ve been confident in myself and who I am since day one, and finding someone who felt the same about me AND themself has been a challenge… all until I met Alex…]
On Father’s Day weekend of 2023, Linley and I went camping on what used to be our annual Empire Trail and Beach hike in northern Michigan, when we lived in the Midwest. (Let’s face facts: Linley is and always will be my first love, my partner in crime, my best friend!) Spending time in nature snuggled up with my little guy made me realize that there was someone out there for me; I just had to be more intentional in finding him (re: insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results).
I’d known I would be moving to Atlanta later that summer/early fall by this point, so why not try online dating with someone who a) was also dating intentionally and b) would want to get to know me before I even moved to Atlanta and c) I could be honest about my past marriage and dating history with. So, I did just that!
I joined Coffee Meets Bagel on June 23, had matches starting June 24, and matched with Alex on June 27 of 2023 (I have problems, don’t ask me how I can remember those dates!) Our first phone call was July 4, our first video call was probably less than a week after that, we left audio messages on days we couldn’t video chat and even saw each other in person twice in one month before I’d moved down here on Linley’s Gotcha Day. I’d known I loved Alex since before even meeting him in person last summer, but I knew I was in love with him late August/early September.
Vancouver in late August, 2023Biking around Stanley Park!Boat ride and orca sighting in Seattle!
Over the weekend, we celebrated our one year anniversary. I can’t wait to share more about how we recreated our first weekend together! But for now, I wanted to write the above for ME, because I don’t think I’ve ever really wrote about the journey — even for myself. 💛
Yesterday was my six month anniversary of living in Atlanta, Georgia — and all I can say is that I’m in awe of my life now. I dreamed of this happiness as a young child and haven’t felt this good for this long… ever. The love Alex and I share, the relationship I have with Alex’s family, his friends who have welcomed me and the friends I’ve met since moving here are all beyond my wildest dreams. With happy tears in my eyes, I can tell you this is the best life I’m living for myself — and young me would be very proud.
Today I sit with my first positive Covid test since the pandemic (yes, you read that right: I only had Covid in January 2020 before we know what it was, and this weekend…) BUT I had an awesome week before this happened and wanted to share some good eats. 💛
Alex and I went to Lure — a delicious seafood spot here in Midtown, Atlanta. I was excited some espresso martinis (with tequila instead of vodka!), tasty fish and to eat my bodyweight in oysters. Alex ordered the swordfish for me to try and I ordered one of my favorites: sea bass, this time with a tomato broth. Thank goodness I could actually taste my food then, because it was the best meal I’ve had in a while!
We also had to take our classic “Here Cate, hold both drinks” photo:
…and here’s a few more since we met:
I’m thankful I have a permanent dinner date who loves being goofy as much as I do! 🤗
Turns out, I get the “two-drink photo” from my parents… ☺️
To feel a true sense of belonging and welcoming from Alex and his family means more than I can’t put into words.
When I was living in the Midwest, I had to scramble to find alternate holiday plans. I don’t mean to be a Grinch with what I share below, but I do want to set the tone for how past holidays with my immediate family would go: There was absolutely no way that I would spend a day of gratitude and love with my brother and his wife who I’m estranged from, or parents who will never love me the way they love my brother, or family members who judged me for being with men who weren’t white, for my tattoos or for my willingness to go to therapy to break our toxic family cycles of generational trauma. Short story long: I always spent time with friends and their families to avoid what I would deem as nothing short of toxic.
The only cousin I’m close to and her fiancé Ben visited us a couple weekends ago, and it was a great way to kick off the holidays! We played games until midnight and had fun at some of our favorite local restaurants. I love Katy more than she’ll ever know. 💛
Last month, I made a new friend while taking Linley to the dog park on one of my days off. Ariel and I went on our first “friend date” of many, and even Alex loved how close we became! It was definitely fate. ✨
Alex’s and my first Christmas together was nothing short of amazing. And it’ll be the first of many. 🥰 Linley and I had so much fun with his family relaxing in the morning, eating great food throughout the day and enjoying some espresso martinis along the way. Alex and his family welcomed us and have made us feel a sense of belonging since the moment we moved down to Georgia in September. We couldn’t feel more lucky. 🥹
And just because I’m feeling this grateful and loved, here are some other fun December photos we took this month:
When you aren’t close with family, holidays can be rough (at least they have been for me!) I’m thankful I’ll be spending the holidays with a man who happens to have a great family, who sees and loves me for who I am, and just so happens to be my best friend. 💛
Who and what are your thankful for this holiday season? ☺️
September has been one of the most positive and transformative months I’ve had all year. I couldn’t be happier in my relationship with Alex, in my new Atlanta home, and with where the rest of 2023 is heading. Before I get too lost in the future, I wanted to reflect on the past month and how much has changed – and how much I’ve grown – in this short period of time.
Two of Alex’s closest friends got engaged earlier in September, and I was able to be part of their special day. I feel blessed to have a partner and best friend who makes me feel so included, and to have a dad who helped me move all the way from Michigan!
I haven’t laughed or celebrated this hard and this much in a long time! September brought many cherished memories with Alex, Emily (who visited me my second weekend of being a new Atlanta resident!) and people I’ve met along the way.
Alex and I also celebrated his best friend from high school as she married the love of her life last weekend. We look forward to many more weddings and milestone celebrations together!
We befriended a lovely couple at Amy’s and Danny’s welcome dinner!
I’ve been an Atlanta resident for exactly one week, and as happy and at home as I feel here, I miss my friends I met through work. This time last year I left Chicago for Michigan on much different terms (going through a divorce, feeling lost, unsure of the future) and now it’s the complete opposite—all thanks to my support system who helped me through difficult times back home.
I wouldn’t be the confident woman standing in Atlanta today if I didn’t have these friends by my side this past year. I only wish they were here with me. 💛
I love Alex. I love Vancouver. I love Seattle. I love all the memories made and food we ate and drinks we downed and laughs we shared. This adventure couldn’t have gone any better. As bittersweet as it was to leave Vancouver – and inch toward concluding our trip altogether – I know my move to Atlanta is approaching and I couldn’t be more excited about my/our future.
Alex and I stopped at a Chinese bakery on our way out of the city on Sunday, and ironically ran into Uncle Joe and Aunt Trish again! We shared some quick hugs and laughs regarding the situation, then bounced to get through customs and return the rental car in Seattle at a decent time. When the representative at customs asked how we knew each other, we both looked at one another and said, “We’re dating,” all giddy like we were kids again haha.
Our afternoon was spent wandering around Pike Place after dropping off the car and our bags, and I started to feel like myself again (my nightmares and wildfire smoke ingestion made me feel like I’d been in a fog all morning). Another Irish pub drinks and food, along with enjoying Alex’s company through the market as we checked out different stores, made everything better. I’d been to that area only once before, and holding Alex’s hand this time made for a much different and insurmountably fulfilling experience. We freshened up, met his cousin Jason for drinks at a local bar, and even made a new stranger-turned-friend Jennifer!
As enjoyable as a day I’d had with Alex, the best was yet to come; Alex had been on a boat tour a few days prior but recommended we go together at sunset this time. It didn’t disappoint! In fact, it was nothing short of magical (sorry, Disney!) With white wine and chips in tow, Alex and I snuggled up next to each other and soaked in the sun and the views. We saw other ships pass by and the sunset was awe-inspiring. The photos Alex and I took together are perfect representations of how much fun I was having—and how much I deeply care about this man. Heck, we even saw orcas, which I didn’t even see in Iceland! It was super sweet because Alex waited for me by the ladder from the bathroom, and helped me up so I could watch the whales with him. 💛
I always pose with both our drinks, so I made Alex do the same 😅🙈Posting this one for you, Alex, because it’s your favorite ☺️One of my personal favorites 🤩
Seeing the city at night was super cool, despite it being “the end.” Alex and I were given a blanket to cuddle up in and we definitely made the most of it. What an amazing bookend to an unforgettable vacation! Instead of seafood one last time, we went to a sketchy McDonald’s and enjoyed eating in bed before spending one last night in the Pacific Northwest together. I can’t wait to spend more time with Alex once I move in a few days; I miss him already.
Before I begin to write about my adventures in the Pacific Northwest, the jaunt from my house to the Detroit metro airport deserves a shoutout. I survived what was probably my scariest driving experience to-date (yes, even worse than the Michigan winter blizzards!) and met incredibly kind strangers along the way. The women getting on the airport shuttle and the passengers next to me on my flight to Seattle were amazing—as was the badass shuttle driver who pulled off this stunt:
I couldn’t wait to see Alex again after not seeing him for a few weeks. Our weekend in Atlanta was perfection and I couldn’t wait to be in his arms and presence once more. I also felt lucky enough to still meet his best friend (also coincidentally named Alex!) even though my flight was delayed a couple hours.
Before heading north to Vancouver, Alex and I met one of my coworkers-turned-friends Eli, who I’d actually never met in person until then. We ate delicious sandwiches and talked as though we’d all known each other for quite some time. Eli is seriously the sweetest and I’ll miss working with him very much! It was great to meet up and I know we’ll stay in touch.
The drive, the border crossing, and the much-needed map were all great and easy. I can’t put into words how much simply being next to Alex and experiencing all these little things with him means to me; I never thought I’d ever find love again – or at all – and I can honestly say that I’ve *never* had anything quite like *this.* Alex has quickly become my best friend.
We enjoyed drinks at a local French-style bar and a lovely dinner on Granville Island in Vancouver, where we ate our bodyweight in oysters, crab, yellowtail sashimi, Brussels sprouts and chowder. It was the perfect start to what was an effortlessly perfect vacation with Alex. 💛
On New Years Eve, I sat with a couple girlfriends on the west side of Michigan, as we wrote down our “resolutions” (I put that word in quotation marks because I like to think of it as more ‘aspirational’ than specific, quantifiable ‘goals’). January has been an exceptionally hard month: seeing my ex-husband for the first time since our divorce and leaving Chicago, losing my dad’s best friend who we weren’t able to see prior to her passing, no longer being able to trust one of my male friends because he led me to believe he was someone he wasn’t, and my depression overall rapidly getting worse. Each month, I’m going to track my progress on each of my wishes for no one other than myself — but feel free to tag along if you wish.
Wish #1: ???
I decided to keep this one to myself for now, but plan to write more about this when the time is right.
Wish #2: Travel to South Africa, & plan other trips…
One of my best friends and her husband recently moved to Atlanta, Georgia from Johannesburg. Andy and I have worked together since the spring, and we became extremely close after all the project managers got together in person in August. Andy and Shawn are the kindest, funniest, most supportive people I could ask for in my life right now — both as individuals and as a couple. They’ve both been through difficult divorces in the past, and inspire me and give me hope that my true love exists — and that I’ll find him someday soon, without settling or compromising my beliefs or self worth. I visited them in Atlanta last weekend and I seriously needed all the laughs, time outdoors, lazy mornings watching TV and meeting more of their South African friends in the area.
Coincidentally, I’ve wanted to visit South Africa since I was about 10 years old. Andy and Shawn really want me to tag along with them the next time they return home. Whether that’s this summer or sometime in 2024, I look forward to my time with them, and to the other adventures abroad that are on the horizon for 2023.
Wish #3: Figure out my health bullshit!
As it turns out, I did indeed have a kidney infection, NOT a gallbladder or pancreas issue. Thank goodness I visited the Women’s Hospital of UofM, or else I probably would’ve had my gallbladder removed unnecessarily. If I still experience symptoms, I’ll be returning to the urologist for further testing, but for now I should be in the clear and my levels – and pain – are stable. I also made an appointment for my back problems and although my spine will never look the way I’d like it to, it was a relief to know that it “isn’t noticeable” to the average person — and now I can start planning for a new tattoo.
Wish #4: Find home in a physical place the way I have found home in myself…
I love who I am: I love how I look, I know what I deserve and I wouldn’t change anything about who I am as a person. HOWEVER, I do not feel at home here in Michigan. I left Michigan for a reason (or, several reasons…) and just because Chicago wasn’t my home either, doesn’t mean that I have to settle for less than I deserve here. Sure, some really good things have come out of me being here again, but my time here has been full of letdowns, false problems, and physical, emotional and mental pain. Maybe I’ll receive a permanent residency permit so I can live in Toronto. Maybe I’ll move somewhere closer to one of my best friends on the east coast. Maybe I’ll move to Charlotte, North Carolina because I had the best time with some of the best people this summer. Or maybe I’ll go somewhere totally new. The overwhelming possibilities are endless, but not all those who wander are lost.
Wish #5: More ink!
As previously mentioned, I’m planning my next tattoo, but am also working on finishing my foot/ankle and really want to get my dog’s paw print on my other ankle soon.
Wish #6: Find a passion – new or old.
I’m definitely getting back into music. As a kid, I was able to play three or four different instruments and found that music was a great outlet for me. Maybe I’ll get back into the piano or play something totally new — either way, I’m excited to explore this more. I also want to start swimming laps at a local gym every day, but am waiting until I relocate because figuring that out is like swimming laps in and of itself!
Wish #7: Heal from my marriage, time in Chicago, friendships ending…
It’s nearly impossible to put a timeline on this one. Progress isn’t linear with this one! Some days I feel on top of the world; others I feel like I’m drowning in my own depression, feeling like the universe is kicking me while I’m down. Seeing my ex-husband earlier in the month was necessary for my own healing, yet it was one of the saddest, heartbreaking things I’ve done. Being around someone you loved and who loved you for nearly a decade… and not being able to be with them in that capacity anymore… unless you’ve tried remaining friends with the person you thought was your soulmate is… hard to explain. It’s soul-crushing. I would give anything to go back to the good times where we both were happy — but my ex-husband doesn’t exactly feel the same way. I had to stare acceptance in the face and truly accept that things will never be as they were. Typing that even now – nearly a month later – feels daunting and depressing.
However… I am opening my heart where and when it needs to be open. I’m not only setting boundaries, but am finally adhering to them. I’m creating space for new friendships and new love, and although I’m losing hope, I haven’t fully given up yet. I wish I didn’t have to struggle this much and feel all this hurt within my heart — but I can only hope it all has to be worth it on the other side.
Wish #8: More bonding experiences with Lin!
I majorly need to step this one up. Because I live with my parents at the moment, Linley has shared the love between all three of us — making it hard to have that quality time I need with him. I hope to plan more adventures with Linley: before, during and after we relocate somewhere new. He’s the best dog in the whole world, and is my favorite adventure buddy!
Wish #9: More reading, cooking, exploring, saying “yes” and “no” when I want…
Saying “no” – even when it’s best for me – is still something I feel extremely guilty about. This is probably one of my biggest personal hurdles I need to jump leaps and bounds over this year. The good news is that I’m reading and cooking much more than I have in the past, and the exploring is still going strong! Over Martin Luther King Jr. weekend, my dad and I made homemade gluten free calzones and fish and chips. I’m excited to try even more recipes with the people I love most!
Wish #10: Finding community who loves and accepts me for me…
For the first time in my 29 years of life, I finally have this at work. I can be myself, crack my jokes, bring my personality to all of my projects, consultants and client teams, and feel valued for my contributions. I have never had community in my own family, or in my physical location. I hope to find this when I leave Michigan as well; I want to find that group who I feel deeply connected with and not for the sake of “fitting in” — but truly belonging as I am.
