Channeling my energy ✨

/ Cate Tracey / 2 Comments

I lay awake at 03:52 ET, hearing the sounds of Alex and Linley breathing (my forever favorite white noise machine) 😌 and feel empowered — although exhausted.

October was such a lovely month full of positive changes, and ever since the election things have felt bleak. Unbelievable. The air has felt heavier, and then family and new job drama layered on top of it *almost* took me out of the fight. The fight to celebrate my engagement. The fight to keep looking for that career that’ll springboard me on the right path. The fight to continue listening to progressive independent liberal media.

But I’m not out of the fight, and I’m not out OF fight. ✨

Instead of basking in the shambles of the election, family tension and feeling like I “got it wrong” on the job front again, I’m going to do the following:

  • Continue going to therapy and feeling in control of my life, the way I did during yesterday’s session
  • Continue knowing that I’m on the right path for ME, even if others “don’t get it”
  • Continue looking for wedding dresses so I can try them on with my mother in law, her best friend and my aunt — because I’m excited people want to celebrate with me
  • Continue applying for jobs in the nonprofit/government space in the city of Atlanta, because Atlanta is my home and I want to find a job based here
  • Learn French the way I used to in college, because I deeply miss it
  • Fix my typewriter, because similar to this post, I just have to do it EVEN when I feel my words aren’t “worth it” to anyone (they’re worth it to me)
  • Find a solid volunteer organization here, directly helping those impacted by the election results (Feminist Healthcare perhaps)
  • Fuck what society, family, former friends, ex-coworkers… think of me, because I’m my favorite version of myself 💛

^ All this is within my control, and I have a LOT of Google searching and ordering to do. 😉

Hold me accountable? I need all the help I can get…

With nothing but love and hope for the future,

Cate 💛

Halloween Shenanigans

/ Cate Tracey / 2 Comments

It’s been hard to write since the election results, but I don’t want the weight of the world to crush me. The end of October was such a beautiful time with a wonderful vacation, the start of a new career and Halloween shenanigans with my best friends.

My partner Alex and our best friend Alex (confusing, I know!) went to a haunted house that’s extremely famous in the Atlanta area. Netherworld was full of jump-scares and laughs, and the best part is that we went into two haunted houses! The first was arguably better than the last, but it was still fun to see Alex (my Alex, haha) conquer his fear of clowns…

Halloween night was lovely because Linley, the Alex’s and our buddy Tyler were all involved in a group costume. We were Taco Bell hot sauce packets and Lin was our little taco! His Taco Bell shirt didn’t arrive in time so Alex last-minute ordered the taco costume, which happened to fit perfectly.

A tired Linley and spicy pawrents!

Before Tyler arrived, the four of us grabbed dinner and drinks at Bantam Pub — our favorite local hangout. We hung out at our place and got Lin cozy for the night, while the rest of us headed to some cool spots in Decatur. We laughed and made fun of how old we were because we were all in bed before midnight. It was exactly what I needed and was worth the hangover the next day 😌

I love my little family in Atlanta and look forward to more adventures to come!

Media taken Monday, October 28 and Thursday, October 31, 2024.

Second-annual trip to Savannah & Hilton Head

/ Cate Tracey / 3 Comments

I can’t help but feel incredibly blessed lately. I have an amazing group of friends — afar and in Atlanta, I’m enjoying my new job at a different organization, therapy continues to go great and I’m seeing major progress with acceptance lately, and the quality time with Alex and Linley post Lin’s surgery couldn’t be better.

Last weekend, we hopped in the car (I was a little hungover from a fun night with Evelyn before, but I don’t regret it!) and drove down to Savannah, Georgia. It was a lovely belated birthday/early Halloween celebration and everything about the weekend away was wonderful.

After a long drive and some interesting OPL podcast episodes, we finally arrived and walked around Savannah while we waited to check into our Airbnb. We went to one of our favorite brunch spots, Collin’s Quarters, and grabbed a drink and lunch after a beautiful walk through historical Forsyth Park. Luckily Linley was exhausted, so once the Airbnb was ready, Alex and I were able to walk through a historical Civil War cemetery, enjoy a nice seafood dinner and some drinks — followed by a nightcap at a rooftop bar overlooking the river. I love spending time together and walking around with Alex, laughing and getting excited about plans, and checking out new places together.

After a great night’s sleep at our Airbnb, we got ready for another great day at Hilton Head. We arrived at the beach where Linley could run free and enjoy the calm water. We met a lovely couple who Lin kept running up to, but for the most part he was by our side the entire time. I love taking Lin to the beach and it’s really special to share these moments with Alex, too!

The beach was extra special this year because I proposed to Alex. 💛 I’d known I’d wanted to do this for a while, and knew this trip – specifically on the beach – would be the perfect place. Unfortunately, I left my note and ring in the bag at our spot, but while walking with Alex, I told him my intentions — sharing that he’s the best gift I’ve ever been given. I don’t want to wait for our forever to begin. Alex said yes and after our family walk, I gave him the ring and letter from my bag. I could tell Alex was surprised but flattered; all I wanted him to feel was special. It was such a lovely morning all around!

We went to our favorite restaurant afterward: Hudson’s on the Dock. The drinks are delicious and the food is seriously amazing. It’s probably the best seafood I’ve had at a more casual, local place before. Linley enjoyed the sun and meeting other pups on the dock while Alex and I enjoyed some oysters, crab, and other delicious food.

After the hour-long drive back and a solid nap we all needed, we wandered around with Linley once more before heading out on our cemetery tour. Our guide at the Bonaventure Cemetery in Savannah was incredibly knowledgeable and the cemetery itself was gorgeous and full of history. We heard stories about the Free Masons, different witch doctors in the south and sadly, how young children was buried there due to lack of medical advances leading up to the 1920s and 30s. I would highly recommend doing a tour of Bonaventure if you ever visit Savannah!

The rest of our evening was great! Alex and I ventured back to the Irish pub we visited last year, saw some friends from Atlanta and met their friends, and enjoyed a nice nighttime walk together. Next year, Alex and I decided that we’ll make our own pub crawl, and each pick a couple bars we want to check out one night.

The next morning was lazy but much-needed before the drive back home. We grabbed coffee then strolled through Forsyth Park once more and dressed Linley up as a ghost again. He did much better in the costume this year, and even got some encouragement from strangers who walked by!

Both trips to Savannah and Hilton head have been lovely, and I’m super excited for next year already!

Media taken Friday, October 25 – Sunday, October 27, 2024.

Life Lately✨

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October has brought more positive changes than I’d expected it would. I accepted a job offer at a new company, I was able to see one of my best friends get married, found out that one of my best friends is expecting her second daughter, and a birthday that could’ve felt lonely didn’t — thanks to Alex’s family and our friends here in Atlanta.

I hope that the rest of 2024 brings positivity, calmness and reflection for all of us. 💛

Exploring new places in Atlanta

Volunteering with animals

Enjoying another Atlanta United game

Apple picking and wineries in North Georgia

Courtney’s and Chris’s wedding!

Quality time with Alex’s family

Quality time with Lin and good friends during my birthday weekend

Linley’s second annual Splish Splash Doggy Bash

Media taken September 21 – October 20, 2024

Aqua Vino

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A few weeks ago, we celebrated our safety during the tropical storm that hit Atlanta — and we hit the Georgia Aquarium for a private wine-centered event. The aquarium hosts Aqua Vino events where guests can dress up, sample wine and see all the animals… with no crowds or kids to worry about! It was the perfect excuse to dress up, sample some wine, listen to live music and explore the aquarium. I felt like a classy adult and a kind again all in one! We even got our picture with a beluga whale within the first half hour.

I bid on a silent auction painting from a sea lion named Finnian (spoiler alert: I ended up winning it!) and pet some sting rays along the way. I felt like I was reclaiming my not-so-fond childhood memories during vacations and such… so it felt special in more ways than one. I also found the Alex and me “in another universe” with these koi fish!

We continued exploring the different areas of the aquarium — including the tunnel and massive viewing room — to see some really impressive sharks. We wandered through different exhibits and joked about the fish and their names along the way. Laughing with Alex is my favorite thing to do and I had a blast. I can’t wait for more adventures like this to come!

And of course, I had to stop by the penguin exhibit before I saw one of my favorite animals…

The otters were actually awake! I was so surprised and happy, so Alex and I spent a good deal of time watching them play and swim around. The same employee who helped when I pet the sting rays was also there to tell us more about these cuties. I was so excited I had to take a video!

Alex and I had a wonderful time getting dolled up and enjoyed a near-private walkthrough of a typically chaotic and popular place. It’s great that the aquarium hosts fundraisers like this, and I hope to attend many more!

Media taken Friday, September 27, 2024.

Nashville fun!

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A few weekends ago, Alex, Linley and I drove from Atlanta to Nashville so I could celebrate one of my best friends during her bachelorette weekend! Turns out there was much more to celebrate — especially because this was Alex’s and my first roadtrip with Lin since his surgery.

The weekend was a perfect storm because the roadtrip to and from was smooth, and we also spent time with Alex’s cousin, Jason. He’s lived in Nashville since 2019 or so, and seeing him is rare (he’s usually traveling all around the world!) On Friday we grabbed dinner with him and laughed until we cried. I always enjoy spending time with Jason and Alex — and I’ll take the time I can get with them together!

Saturday was dedicated to the ladies, and Alex and Lin had some father-son bonding time during the day. It was awesome seeing Carolina and her friends again, and meeting a couple new ones, too! Even though I’m not a bridesmaid, it meant the world that Carolina included me in her weekend festivities. While Alex and Lin had their quality time together, us ladies grabbed brunch and some of us got flash tattoos before heading out at night.

Jason, Alex and Linley hung out the rest of the day and evening together. Meanwhile Carolina, Steph, Ellen, Asia, Chloe and I relaxed at their Airbnb, played drinking games and got ready for a fun night on Broadway. Normally going out like that and listening to country music all night isn’t my thing, but I embraced it and had a wonderful time.

I’ve been in a few weddings and I can honestly say that Carolyn’s and Carolina’s bridesmaids were the kindest. Everyone got along great and had such a lovely weekend celebrating one of the best friends I have in my life! I look forward to celebrating her in Asheville next month — and look forward to some October adventures with Alex and Lin!

Media taken Friday, September 13 – Sunday, September 15, 2024.

One Year Anniversaries

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August 3-4 | One Year Together

It’s hard to believe that on August 3, 2023 I got on a plane to meet Alex for the very first time. And the day after, I told Alex I wanted to be his girlfriend, and wanted him to be my boyfriend. I had such a great weekend recreating our first weekend together — even though things looked different this year (one of our best friends stayed with us through the weekend since her roommates had covid, and we’d just found out that Linley needed surgery).

On Friday, August 2, Alex, our friend and I went to one of our favorite Thai places in Midtown Atlanta, followed by a late-night trip to Bantam for some drinks. Saturday, August 3 was full of memories from the previous year: Torched Hop brunch, time with Alex and Linley at the Westside Motor Lounge and Scofflaw Brewing, then our friends Alex G. and Tyler joined us for some margs nearby and a nice dinner at Ruby’s Chows — our favorite “fancier” place to go. Sunday, August 4 was spent the five of us (including Lin!) until I joined the Alex’s at Park Bar and another great Atlanta United soccer game.

Not only was the weekend special because of Alex and Lin, but also because I didn’t know Tyler and Alex G. a year ago. I feel blessed to have such incredible friends, and an incredible partner in my new home. ❤

September 9 | One year in Atlanta (and Lin’s Gotcha Day!)

One year ago today, I celebrated six years of adopting Linley… and today I’m celebrating seven years as his best friend! On this day last year, Linley, my dad and I all arrived in Atlanta for moving day — where Linley met his new dad for the first time. Alex and Linley have bonded since day one, making these past two “gotcha days” so incredibly special. AND Linley’s doing great but he needed an overnight surgery last month, which gives us all the more reason to celebrate.

I look forward to more years and memories to come. ❤

Journey to Alex 💛

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[Spoiler alert: Yes, this will ultimately be a lovely post about Alex’s and my love story, but I need to explain the hell I’ve been through to make you appreciate the journey more. 💛]

From last weekend’s anniversary dinner

In May of 2023, I was blindsided by someone I was “dating” long-distance (I put “dating” in quotes because I thought we were dating; he claimed we weren’t after the fact…) I’d known this person since February and we spoke every day, made efforts to see each other when possible… but then one day around Mother’s Day, he ghosted, then “zombied” (which is coming back from ghosting with a bunch of excuses), then ghosted again. Although I had zero interest in being with this individual after nearly a week or more of not answering my messages, he was a narcissist and claimed that me asking questions about what happened and why he ghosted was “wasting each others’ time” and that he didn’t want to “lead me on” as I was trying to find closure. Even when I said that I wanted feedback for the man I was actually meant to be with (NOT him), his gaslighting was through the roof.

The above bullshit (pardon my French) took place during and after my marriage. The rollercoaster of addiction (including “dry drunk” behaviors for over five+ years), the physical and emotional abandonment and gaslighting/lack of accountability ran rampant no matter how “good” we were, where we lived or how much quality time we even spent together. After the marriage ended, I felt like I had this revolving door of men — even though I wasn’t seeking male attention or making first moves. I was blindsided, ghosted, used… by about four or five guys before I’d met Alex, and as mad as I am at them, I’m disappointed that I hadn’t set better boundaries – both physical and emotional – after the divorce.

[TLDR: My whole life has been spent searching for the love from someone else who sees me the way *I* see *myself.* A lot of people may think I seem insecure or like a love addict myself, when really I’ve always wanted that best friend who truly saw me, loved to spend time and travel with me, who would laugh with me and hug me even on our hardest days… all because I never had a stable, grounded family life. I’ve been confident in myself and who I am since day one, and finding someone who felt the same about me AND themself has been a challenge… all until I met Alex…]

On Father’s Day weekend of 2023, Linley and I went camping on what used to be our annual Empire Trail and Beach hike in northern Michigan, when we lived in the Midwest. (Let’s face facts: Linley is and always will be my first love, my partner in crime, my best friend!) Spending time in nature snuggled up with my little guy made me realize that there was someone out there for me; I just had to be more intentional in finding him (re: insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results).

I’d known I would be moving to Atlanta later that summer/early fall by this point, so why not try online dating with someone who a) was also dating intentionally and b) would want to get to know me before I even moved to Atlanta and c) I could be honest about my past marriage and dating history with. So, I did just that!

I joined Coffee Meets Bagel on June 23, had matches starting June 24, and matched with Alex on June 27 of 2023 (I have problems, don’t ask me how I can remember those dates!) Our first phone call was July 4, our first video call was probably less than a week after that, we left audio messages on days we couldn’t video chat and even saw each other in person twice in one month before I’d moved down here on Linley’s Gotcha Day. I’d known I loved Alex since before even meeting him in person last summer, but I knew I was in love with him late August/early September.

Vancouver in late August, 2023
Biking around Stanley Park!
Boat ride and orca sighting in Seattle!

Over the weekend, we celebrated our one year anniversary. I can’t wait to share more about how we recreated our first weekend together! But for now, I wanted to write the above for ME, because I don’t think I’ve ever really wrote about the journey — even for myself. 💛

North Georgia Fun

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My mom visited Alex, Linley and me last weekend — and we had a blast exploring north Georgia! I’d been to some of the wineries before, but actually staying in a cabin in Ellijay and walking around Blue Ridge was so much fun with my mom, too.

The four of us enjoyed a beautiful cabin with a view of the mountains, and it didn’t disappoint. We made s’mores in the oven (because it rained both evenings we were there), played cards, watched the Olympics, drank coffee outside on the wrap-around porch and laughed until we cried. It was the perfect stay and I’d recommend for anyone who wants to escape city life for a weekend.

Prior to even seeing the cabin in the woods, we stopped by Roo Mountain Vineyards — which is now my new favorite winery in Georgia! The drinks were delicious, the view was incredible and the quality time was priceless.

Blue Ridge was another cute town we stopped in since it was super dog friendly! We checked out some shops, took Linley to Blue Ridge Adventure Dog for a good run, some photos and toys, and had good coffee under a patio during some rain. We had great food for lunch and dinner, too!

It was great having my mom here in Atlanta and up in north Georgia, and we can’t wait for next time!

Photos taken July 27 & 28, 2024

Upstate New York pt. II

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I’m full of giddiness today as it’s been one whole year ago since meeting Alex in person! I remember getting on that plane in Detroit and flying down to Atlanta — feeling excited and impatient and at peace with my decision. As soon as I got off the escalator and saw Alex’s beaming smile… I knew he was the one. 💛

More to come on that later! ☺️ Today I wanted to share more about my time in upstate New York with Alex and his family. We had such a wonderful time hanging out at their rental home along the river, exploring Alex Bay and other areas nearby. When first meeting Aunt Jean and Uncle Pat, I felt immediately welcomed. We talked about art and teaching and their sons… it was a big warm hug of a conversation. Later I met Aunt Mary Ann, Uncle Jim, Kayla, Randall and their girls, too — and it was so much fun hanging out by the water and playing cards in the evenings.

As much as I’ve enjoyed getting to know Alex’s parents here in Georgia, I loved talking with Bill and Cecilia in New York, playing games with them and getting to know their long-time friends, too! I can’t wait for more memories with them soon.

Until next summer, New York!

Media taken July 12-14, 2024

Upstate New York

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I struggled to write about my time in New York with Alex and his family because this was the first family trip I’ve taken in over 13 years. I remember feeling excited when talking with Alex about this trip last year – which was before we were even officially dating – and although it’s painful I don’t have these experiences with the family I was born into, it’s wonderful to have them with the family I now belong to.

Oddly enough, we never took family photos. We were living in the moment, enjoying each other’s company along the St. Lawrence River in Clayton, New York. Alex, Linley and I stayed in an awesome home on a little island — where Linley ran free and had the time of his life. The quality time with Alex and Lin meant so much to me, as did the time getting to know Alex’s extended family throughout the week.

I miss having coffee with Alex in the sun room every morning. I miss being outside with Lin and having lazy mornings together. I miss the walks into town as a trio and the places we’d see along the river. I miss hearing the waves crash against the rocks and I miss the sun on my skin — when I felt totally relaxed and at ease. I miss how Alex and I would look at each other and say “I love you,” knowing we were about to have a great day together.

I wish I could go back to those moments and vacationing with Alex and Linley all over again… until next summer 💛 I look forward to sharing more about the trip in the coming days!

Media taken July, 2024

Exploring DC (ft. Buddy the butterfly)

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I wrote about visiting my best friend, her husband, baby girl and pup in Alexandria last time. What a special reunion that was! And it was nice that Alex and I had a good chunk of the weekend to pop into DC and check out the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History together.

We had a blast in the museum learning about gems, our ancestors and even where the planet’s going (scary, for sure!). I loved having Alex by my side — commenting about what we saw and having a personal comedian along the way! Our favorite part by far was the butterfly pavilion, where I made a new friend Buddy.

Buddy the butterfly hung out on my hand for about 15-20 minutes! He was truly a friend by the end of the experience, and I was really sad when he finally decided to fly away. I’m grateful Alex snapped these pics to capture the moment and how beautiful Buddy was. Alex also had a temporary visitor, whose name goes unknown…

Honestly, it’s all the little things with Alex. It’s the butterflies landing on us. It’s the first subway ride we took together. It’s the realization that you’re walking in such a cool city together. It’s the fact that I didn’t have to visit Carolyn and Ryan by myself this time. All those “little things” truly add up to larger ones.

We headed to the wharf after strolling through the museum for a much needed seafood lunch and some good drinks. We may or may not have had three or four each — including the most expensive espresso martinis we’ve had (stupid bartender… but worth it!). What a great nap we had afterward haha!

Of course, Lin wasn’t too happy that we didn’t bring him along, but he probably would’ve panicked in the pavilion!

Until next time, DC!

Photos taken Sunday, July 7, 2024