Yesterday was my six month anniversary of living in Atlanta, Georgia — and all I can say is that I’m in awe of my life now. I dreamed of this happiness as a young child and haven’t felt this good for this long… ever. The love Alex and I share, the relationship I have with Alex’s family, his friends who have welcomed me and the friends I’ve met since moving here are all beyond my wildest dreams. With happy tears in my eyes, I can tell you this is the best life I’m living for myself — and young me would be very proud.
On October 19, I turned 30. Unlike most people who have a “milestone birthday,” I couldn’t have been more excited to enter into a new decade of life. Last year I was in Germany with one of my best friends who made my day incredibly special, so Alex had some big shoes to fill, but made everything leading up to it, during and afterward better than I could’ve imagined.
Wednesday, October 18, I had a phone date with another one of my best friends as I walked Linley through Piedmont Park. It was such an awesome evening weather and conversation-wise. Alex came over and we played the War card game and drank spicy margs until midnight. And on my actual birthday, I took the day off and didn’t look at a single work email and I even had my personal phone text notifications off. I FaceTimed two of my best friends while I was in Target, buying things I didn’t need. I had the best evening with Alex and two of our friends (his longest friends who I’ve become closer with since moving down here) filled with good Latin American food, strong drinks and much-needed laughter. It was the first evening where I took a deep breath and thought, “I’m home.”
Justin’s birthday was the next day!
Alex planned an incredible weekend in Savannah for us (us including Linley!) and it was an amazing first family trip. I’d never been to Savannah but have always wanted to see the mosey trees, beautiful southern architecture and cobblestone streets. Alex and I enjoyed a lovely seafood dinner and awesome drinks that Friday night after our long drive and walk with Linley. Seriously everything was perfect: the Airbnb, Linley’s behavior, the company… I felt so much love the entire weekend.
Luckily we found out that Tybee Island Beach isn’t dog friendly the night before, so we traveled to Hilton Head, South Carolina. Seeing Alex and Lin on the beach together melted my heart, and it was Alex’s first time seeing Lin like that (and Linley’s first time in the Atlantic Ocean!). We all ran around and then enjoyed some delicious seafood and drinks on the dock. The highlight was someone walking up to us and saying, “He’s a daddy’s boy isn’t he?!” when seeing Alex and Lin together! It was the perfect ending to a perfect afternoon.
After finding a not-so-great bar after a much-needed lazy afternoon, we went back to our bar from the night before, then had a blast at our spooky bar crawl. We met some awesome strangers along the way, including none other than comedian and Impractical Joker Sal Vulcano! I couldn’t believe that we saw him at the end of the night! The hangover the next morning was SO worth it.
We enjoyed a morning walk, some attempted ghost photos, brunch and stopping at Buc-ee’s on the way home.
I fall in love with Alex more and more as the days go on, and I can’t wait for more adventures as a trio!
I’ve been an Atlanta resident for exactly one week, and as happy and at home as I feel here, I miss my friends I met through work. This time last year I left Chicago for Michigan on much different terms (going through a divorce, feeling lost, unsure of the future) and now it’s the complete opposite—all thanks to my support system who helped me through difficult times back home.
I wouldn’t be the confident woman standing in Atlanta today if I didn’t have these friends by my side this past year. I only wish they were here with me. 💛
I wrote about my weekend in Grand Rapids and still can’t comprehend how perfect it was! I’ve been reflecting on my year in Michigan, what it’s like to be moving now vs. what it was like to move this time last year during the height of my divorce… It’s been an extremely cathartic and spiritual process. And with that, I can’t help but be grateful for the month I’ve had thus far.
The beginning of something beautiful with Alex 💛Leaving “my Alex” and running into one of my best friends Alex at the Atlanta airport!Reuniting for drinks with my high school golf coach!Golfing at sunrise with my dad 💛A fun weekend with an old friend, and a few new ones ☺️My dad wanting to take Linley to Home Depot!Hitting up Two James in Detroit with one of my best friends 🍸Linley stalking a baby raccoon in the neighbor’s shedMaking new friends with an old one 💛A fun night in Ann Arbor with Emily and Zac!Morning walks with LinleyBrewery Nyx last weekend 🍻Ladies night!A much-needed beach day with one of my oldest and closest friends 💛Homemade pizza with one of my oldest and closest friends (and her lovely husband!)Even Linley made a new friend this month!
Photos taken Thursday, August 3 through Monday, August 21, 2023.
March felt like a month of setbacks, irritability and challenges. But when I reflect on the good moments, I still made progress and have so much to be thankful for. Sure, I felt – and still feel – easily annoyed at times, but I’m continuing to work through hardship, set and adhere to my boundaries, and am grateful for the adventures that March brought me. I’ve been keeping up with reading, am learning to play the harmonica, am getting new ink and am creating more space for positive friendships and opportunities. ❤️
MSU vs. OSU basketball game with dad!Meeting baby Lily in D.C.!Treating my parents to a lovely dinner and show at Cliff Bell’s jazz club in Detroit!Learning Black Betty on the harmonicaGetting matching tattoos with my Little Sister of nearly nine years!Happy hour with the work ladies!Brought Lin into the office again!More outdoor time with my best bud“Pupdates” from mom while I’m away
On New Years Eve, I sat with a couple girlfriends on the west side of Michigan, as we wrote down our “resolutions” (I put that word in quotation marks because I like to think of it as more ‘aspirational’ than specific, quantifiable ‘goals’). January has been an exceptionally hard month: seeing my ex-husband for the first time since our divorce and leaving Chicago, losing my dad’s best friend who we weren’t able to see prior to her passing, no longer being able to trust one of my male friends because he led me to believe he was someone he wasn’t, and my depression overall rapidly getting worse. Each month, I’m going to track my progress on each of my wishes for no one other than myself — but feel free to tag along if you wish.
Wish #1: ???
I decided to keep this one to myself for now, but plan to write more about this when the time is right.
Wish #2: Travel to South Africa, & plan other trips…
One of my best friends and her husband recently moved to Atlanta, Georgia from Johannesburg. Andy and I have worked together since the spring, and we became extremely close after all the project managers got together in person in August. Andy and Shawn are the kindest, funniest, most supportive people I could ask for in my life right now — both as individuals and as a couple. They’ve both been through difficult divorces in the past, and inspire me and give me hope that my true love exists — and that I’ll find him someday soon, without settling or compromising my beliefs or self worth. I visited them in Atlanta last weekend and I seriously needed all the laughs, time outdoors, lazy mornings watching TV and meeting more of their South African friends in the area.
Coincidentally, I’ve wanted to visit South Africa since I was about 10 years old. Andy and Shawn really want me to tag along with them the next time they return home. Whether that’s this summer or sometime in 2024, I look forward to my time with them, and to the other adventures abroad that are on the horizon for 2023.
Wish #3: Figure out my health bullshit!
As it turns out, I did indeed have a kidney infection, NOT a gallbladder or pancreas issue. Thank goodness I visited the Women’s Hospital of UofM, or else I probably would’ve had my gallbladder removed unnecessarily. If I still experience symptoms, I’ll be returning to the urologist for further testing, but for now I should be in the clear and my levels – and pain – are stable. I also made an appointment for my back problems and although my spine will never look the way I’d like it to, it was a relief to know that it “isn’t noticeable” to the average person — and now I can start planning for a new tattoo.
Wish #4: Find home in a physical place the way I have found home in myself…
I love who I am: I love how I look, I know what I deserve and I wouldn’t change anything about who I am as a person. HOWEVER, I do not feel at home here in Michigan. I left Michigan for a reason (or, several reasons…) and just because Chicago wasn’t my home either, doesn’t mean that I have to settle for less than I deserve here. Sure, some really good things have come out of me being here again, but my time here has been full of letdowns, false problems, and physical, emotional and mental pain. Maybe I’ll receive a permanent residency permit so I can live in Toronto. Maybe I’ll move somewhere closer to one of my best friends on the east coast. Maybe I’ll move to Charlotte, North Carolina because I had the best time with some of the best people this summer. Or maybe I’ll go somewhere totally new. The overwhelming possibilities are endless, but not all those who wander are lost.
Wish #5: More ink!
As previously mentioned, I’m planning my next tattoo, but am also working on finishing my foot/ankle and really want to get my dog’s paw print on my other ankle soon.
Wish #6: Find a passion – new or old.
I’m definitely getting back into music. As a kid, I was able to play three or four different instruments and found that music was a great outlet for me. Maybe I’ll get back into the piano or play something totally new — either way, I’m excited to explore this more. I also want to start swimming laps at a local gym every day, but am waiting until I relocate because figuring that out is like swimming laps in and of itself!
Wish #7: Heal from my marriage, time in Chicago, friendships ending…
It’s nearly impossible to put a timeline on this one. Progress isn’t linear with this one! Some days I feel on top of the world; others I feel like I’m drowning in my own depression, feeling like the universe is kicking me while I’m down. Seeing my ex-husband earlier in the month was necessary for my own healing, yet it was one of the saddest, heartbreaking things I’ve done. Being around someone you loved and who loved you for nearly a decade… and not being able to be with them in that capacity anymore… unless you’ve tried remaining friends with the person you thought was your soulmate is… hard to explain. It’s soul-crushing. I would give anything to go back to the good times where we both were happy — but my ex-husband doesn’t exactly feel the same way. I had to stare acceptance in the face and truly accept that things will never be as they were. Typing that even now – nearly a month later – feels daunting and depressing.
However… I am opening my heart where and when it needs to be open. I’m not only setting boundaries, but am finally adhering to them. I’m creating space for new friendships and new love, and although I’m losing hope, I haven’t fully given up yet. I wish I didn’t have to struggle this much and feel all this hurt within my heart — but I can only hope it all has to be worth it on the other side.
Wish #8: More bonding experiences with Lin!
I majorly need to step this one up. Because I live with my parents at the moment, Linley has shared the love between all three of us — making it hard to have that quality time I need with him. I hope to plan more adventures with Linley: before, during and after we relocate somewhere new. He’s the best dog in the whole world, and is my favorite adventure buddy!
Wish #9: More reading, cooking, exploring, saying “yes” and “no” when I want…
Saying “no” – even when it’s best for me – is still something I feel extremely guilty about. This is probably one of my biggest personal hurdles I need to jump leaps and bounds over this year. The good news is that I’m reading and cooking much more than I have in the past, and the exploring is still going strong! Over Martin Luther King Jr. weekend, my dad and I made homemade gluten free calzones and fish and chips. I’m excited to try even more recipes with the people I love most!
Wish #10: Finding community who loves and accepts me for me…
For the first time in my 29 years of life, I finally have this at work. I can be myself, crack my jokes, bring my personality to all of my projects, consultants and client teams, and feel valued for my contributions. I have never had community in my own family, or in my physical location. I hope to find this when I leave Michigan as well; I want to find that group who I feel deeply connected with and not for the sake of “fitting in” — but truly belonging as I am.
Some of us are excited for what 2021 will bring. Some of us remain uncertain and are maybe even afraid for the future. I’m almost certain that no matter which bucket you fall into (if not both!), you’re ready for some normalcy. And one of the only beings in my life who is loving all of this is my pup, Linley.
Snuggles with Linley, inside and outside!Salty about me cleaning the mud off his paws…
For Juan and me, January has been filled of some quick (and safe) visits with friends, tons of work after hours, and the occasional date with just us two; but mostly it’s filled with Linley-related quality time.
Linley even received a postcard from his friend in Australia! And he was salty about another selfie with me…
Lin even enjoys some playtime at doggy day care
The pupper loves his car rides and cuddles in his pink blanket!
Linley gets groomed once a month, and I’ve been experimenting with temporary hair dye
I hope that the remainder of 2021 involves more time with friends and more traveling, which includes more adventures with Lin!
I promise that Juan wears his mask right 99% of the time…!
Traveling with the Traceys 