I once withdrew my candidacy for a dream job. I would’ve been a partnership program manager for a large nonprofit based in DC, but would’ve been a remote employee with quarterly travel to DC and Arlington, VA. I would’ve been shaking hands with some pretty powerful people, helping nonprofits achieve their goals and partnering with them directly. 

While doing more research on the organization, two things existed at once: I was both impressed with the causes I would’ve been supporting (accessible education, decreasing homelessness, etc.) AND scared of the ties the organization had to the libertarian/right-of-center political spectrum. Although the organization was clearly anti-Trump, it also appeared anti-inclusive. 

I met with the recruiter a few days before my final, four-hour panel interview was scheduled. I had some questions and also was transparent in my political beliefs. I said, “I will never ask this question of you or the panel, but I want you to know where I stand. I’m an independent but am very left-leaning and although I don’t associate myself with the Democratic Party in our nation’s context, I do call myself a social democrat. I just wanted to be upfront about that because I do try to reach across party lines, but am fearful that I won’t be accepted here because my beliefs seem to differ from the majority’s.” I wanted to share this because I am the only person in my immediate family with LGBTQIA+ friends and progressive views, and know how uncomfortable and lonely it is to be the outsider. 

She was shocked, but really respected what I shared. I’m sure she and I don’t agree politically, but we had an amazing, civil and even insightful conversation about it all. I respected how she handled my vulnerability and how she never made me feel judged during our conversation. THAT is what disagreements should look like. 

HOWEVER, I do know the subtext: it’s likely that even though she was this way with ME, she may not have been this way with the people I support. I support my LGBTQIA+ friends and community so much so that it’s the main reason why I chose to share my political beliefs with this recruiter. I can’t say I’ve walked a day in my friends’ shoes, but I can say that I’ve gone through family estrangement and feeling like I don’t belong in many settings. My friend K is one of my best friends from Michigan, they’ve always included me and was even a friend I could go to when I didn’t have a place to spend during holidays. KP is probably my only true friend from Chicago and was by my side when I was losing my job and going through a really painful divorce. Gainer has been like a sister to me ever since we met each other here in Atlanta, and her girlfriend Nikki has also become this way for me, too. Heck, even one of my friends who I met through this platform has been an inspiration for me during really dark times (you know who you are!) 

At a conceptual level, I’ve never understood homophobia or transphobia, but at a personal level, it confuses me even more. My LGBTQIA+ friends have accepted and loved me when others couldn’t, and I will continue to stand with them no matter what—even if that means pulling my hat out of the ring for a “dream job.” 

One day I would love to work for a nonprofit that’s more aligned with my beliefs and ALL communities I support. But until then, I’m going to be the best ally I can be. 💛