My happiest holiday (no, really!)

Yesterday was probably the best Christmas I’ve ever had. I used to love my family get-togethers before my estrangement took place, but holidays haven’t been spent with my biological family since 2018 or 2019. As much as I miss spending time with my parents, Alex and I will be seeing them next month, and that dedicated quality time will mean so much to me.

I was tossing and turning on Christmas Eve night into Christmas Day, and Alex let his parents know that I was feeling anxious and emotional about my past. My first Christmas with his family in 2023 was nice but it doesn’t even compare to the love, support and ease I felt yesterday. I couldn’t be more thankful for that.

We visited Lau Lau (Alex’s grandma) for lunch with all the aunts and uncles and their families, then had quality time with Alex’s parents and brother on the Tracey side, followed by a lovely dinner and Aunt Susan’s and Uncle Ray’s house. Spending quality time with the cousins and our friend Trizzie was super fun, and it felt very much like the cousin time I’d had as a kid long ago. It was nice to feel young again, and I haven’t felt that way on Christmas in probably almost twenty years.

I couldn’t be more grateful for Alex, the love he has for Linley and me, his parents, and entire family for welcoming Lin and me with open arms. As my therapist always says: I deserve to feel safe and loved in every space, and I felt that way in spades yesterday. My father-in-law even turned to me, we clinked champagne glasses, and he told me how happy he was that I was there. And my mother-in-law told me that she looks forward to many more years of love and celebration to come.

What a great way to end a wild ride of a year!

Photos taken Christmas Day, 2025

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