In 2017 when I first rescued Linley, I knew I wanted to sign him up for training. Lin wasn’t a bad dog by any means, but he had a lot of anxiety and abandonment issues prior to finding his way to my heart. Plus I figured it’d be great bonding for us, because he was still figuring me out.
Linley on graduation day in 2018
Proud boy
On Christmas last year, I wanted to do something special for Alex and Linley to give them the same experience. The founder of Linley’s dog hiking group, Two Chicks and a Pack, recommended Megan at Primed Instincts for dog agility training here in Atlanta. I signed the boys up right away, and they had the best time together!
And here’s some videos if you want to see the guys in action:
I was lucky enough to watch the last two weeks of the agility trainings, and seeing my two favorite fellas always melts my heart! It was cute to see Linley smiling through all the obstacles, and he’d get so serious when following Alex for a treat. And it was awesome to see Alex so serious too; it was like they were both in “work mode.”
Even an 11-year-old dog can learn new tricks, so never sell yourself short 😉
Media taken Sunday, May 3, 2026 at Walker Park in Atlanta, GA
I started my own business this year because I once felt extremely lonely: lonely where I lived, lonely in my own family, lonely in my workplace and even lonely in some of my friendships. According to a recent study by the American Psychological Association, over half of adults in the United States feel lonely and isolated from others. I want to help others who feel how I used to just a handful of years ago. It’s incredibly important to find community whether you’re going through a major life change like relocation, a breakup or divorce, job loss (or like me: a combination of all three) and more.
I’m sharing who makes up part of my new community because it’s possible for anyone who feels lonely to feel supported and loved; I can promise you that! One year ago I was really wondering if my community was truly stable here – because my life is normally filled with instability and chaos – and it is as strong as it can be. And that’s what everyone deserves. 🫶
Linley and me at an Atlanta Dog Mom Social Club eventCelebrating with my Aunt, Uncle and pup cousin, Ellie!Atlanta United game with our best friendsA family 3k for a great causeHanging out with our friends Devin and ColinA lovely Mother’s DayWatching sweet Larkin againMeeting a teammate in personDinner with Joss, who is also part of the Atlanta dog mom group!Quality time with the hubs of courseA bestie was back in town real quick!
TL;DR: Look up, get some sunshine, call a friend, spend time with ones you love when you’re feeling down. It may not take all the pain away, but you deserve some peace and you’re allowed to give yourself grace + feel your feelings as they come. ❤️🩹
Trigger warning TW: Family estrangement, verbal abuse.
Yesterday was a hard day and it’s been a hard week. Last Friday, a family member who I haven’t seen since 2018 and haven’t heard from since about a year ago reached out to me multiple times. When I heard from them a year ago, more hurtful things were said (again) and the worst part is that this happened during my honeymoon. They always know when to share things/reach out at the worst time.
Then Sunday rolls around and some triggers came up while my parents visited. Although my relationship is significantly better with them, they’re the only biological family I speak to. There will always be challenges and reminders that come with that…
And then yesterday, we had a virtual baby shower for a teammate at work who is having a second child (a boy). He has a daughter and he kept saying how excited he is that his soon-to-be younger son will have an older sister to look up to and learn from, because his older sisters are gifts to him. It’s just me and my brother and because I’m older and estranged, I felt immediate guilt, sadness, heaviness and also anger. Why didn’t he ever view me or our relationship as a gift, the way that I viewed him and our relationship? I don’t know. I may never know. But it hit so hard.
Whether you know me personally or have read my WordPress blog for a while, you may know the struggles I face with the grief vs. relief of it all.
I’ve been estranged from most family for nearly a decade now but never thought my brother’s and my bond would break. When things about sibling love are shared, or birthdays pass, or moments where I considered my brother to be my best friend fill my memory again, it’s extremely hard. If you’re struggling with the same thing or something parallel, just know that I see you, I understand you and all your complex, rollercoaster feelings are valid.
Between 404 Day and now, it’s been a solid month here in Atlanta. We’ve explored new places, revisited some favorites and felt a sense of community with our neighbors (especially Amy because we got to watch her sweet girl, Larkin, this month!)
I look forward to what the rest of April and beyond has in store!
On Friday, I wasn’t feeling the best, but I knew a hike with Linley would help me sweat out my cold in addition to making my heart feel good. We revisited Sweetwater Creek State Park for some light hiking and beautiful views. My mom also had the day off, so we talked on the phone like the good ole days. And as usual, Linley got lots of attention and four young women were adoring him, so I gave them each a treat to give to Linley. He was in heaven!
Being with Linley always makes my day, especially when we can be outdoors together.
And yesterday’s 404 Day celebration in Atlanta was a ton of fun! We strolled through our favorite neighborhood in the city, watched Linley play at Piedmont Park, picked up some plants at Flora and Fauna, and enjoyed an afternoon in our own neighborhood.
I’ve been beating myself up all week about random sh*t, and honestly, I need to stop because I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
Media taken Friday, April 3 & Saturday, April 4, 2026 in Atlanta, GA.
You read that right! I started my own business. I’ve always wanted to help people outside of the “typical” business world, and I’m finally taking the plunge. I’m a certified professional coach (CPC) and TEFL-certified tutor, and want to help others find joy in life during and after a major life change. This can include divorce, relocation, career and more. I’ve been through so much in my life and I would love to continue helping others who are going through their own journeys.
Here’s the timeline of how things went:
August – I started my professional coaching certification through the University of Georgia, because I’m tired of corporate and truly want to help others.
December – I officially registered for and launched my LLC: Cate Tracey Coaching.
January – I officially graduated from the certification program!
February – My website was built, and made me appreciate UX and other web features even more.
This month – I’m going all-in on social media and I’m trying to create better reach, page views and engagement overall.
My goal is to have my business full-time up-and-running before the end of this year. It’s an aggressive goal, but I’m aiming high so I can keep at my North Star. I have a few clients right now but I hope to grow this enough so I can do this full-time. This is the only career path I have ever been excited about, and to finally feel excited about my career and professional purpose feels incredibly inspiring.
And no: this blog will not become a professional coaching blog, but I did want to share this news with y’all. 🫶
I’m excited for this new chapter and have faith that it’s all going to work out. I can’t wait to help more people and continue to grow in this profession!
I haven’t been to Detroit since moving to Atlanta in 2023, and it felt great to be back! When I lived in Michigan, my parents seldom went to Detroit with me, and Alex had never been, making it extra special.
For my dad’s birthday, we went to a Red Wings hockey game and although they lost, we had a ton of fun. Little Caesars was as energetic and fun as I’d remembered, and the guys cheered with their Labatt beers before we found our seats. It was awesome to be there again.
As we marched back to the car, we had to stop in the cold and drop another Linley sticker!
As we headed north to Ferndale, it had secondhand admiration of Detroit’s architecture through Alex. He was so cute looking out the window, pointing out all the museums (including the Detroit Institute of Art) and other beautiful, historic buildings. Sometimes we take a place for granted until we see it through another’s eyes.
Near my old house is one of the best local, Detroit-style pizza places, and I knew this would be the perfect spot after a game. Como’s is a place I didn’t go to often, but every time I went it was special.
The rest of our evening was laid back and easygoing, just the way we all prefer it to be. Of course I had some flashbacks of my brother, my ex and former friends of mine, but luckily it didn’t dominate my time in Michigan. At times I wish things with my brother and former best friends were different, but I also know things happen for a reason, and I wouldn’t have ever met Alex or moved to Atlanta otherwise. I hope to return with Alex (and Linley next time!) so we can experience the beauty of Michigan in the summertime.
Media taken on Saturday, January 31, 2026 in Detroit & Ferndale, Michigan.
Today has been a strange one: Alex’s grandmother passed, and it never snowed. I was so looking forward to visiting Lau Lau more and was looking forward to celebrating Chinese New Year with her next month. The last time I saw her was Christmas and I wish I’d spent more time with her — both then and in general.
And is not seeing snow in Atlanta a big deal today? No. But the snow always makes me think of Michigan, my former home, and always makes me think of fond memories there. I’m not close with family but I am close with my parents, so I’m inevitably missing them more today. The snow always brought us together, even when things were distant.
I miss Lau Lau already and wish I could’ve spent more time with her. I don’t have a relationship with my parent’s moms, and it was warming to have Lau Lau welcome me the way she did. And I miss my parents and I wish my relationship with them was less strained. I wish I didn’t feel guilt about distancing myself, both physically and emotionally, from family members who’ve repeatedly hurt me before. Maybe I wish they’d never have hurt me at all. I’m just thinking about family and the complexity of it so much today.
What I can control is my new immediate family: Alex and Linley. Together, we’re the Tracey Trio, and before that, it felt like Linley and me against the world.
In honor of this, I wanted to post some media in reverse chronological order, ranging from our big Atlanta snow storm last January, all the way to Linley’s first ever time seeing snow in 2017. Atlanta is our new home now, but home is wherever my heart is, and my heart is always whole with my two favorite guys. And although I’m not religious but am definitely spiritual, I know Lau Lau is with her husband again, and I hope her heart is full as well. 🥹
My insomnia has significantly improved this week and I’m beyond grateful for that! The irony is that I’m up now, just past 1:30am my time, but it’s mainly due to sleeping off a migraine I had yesterday evening. I hope I can get some sleep shortly, but since I’m here, I wanted to write about when I’m the happiest. I saw someone else write about this recently and loved the idea, so I’m jumping in…
I’m happiest when I feel at peace with the past. I’m happiest when Linley is snoring and sandwiched in bed between Alex and me (like right now!) I’m happiest when I have balance in my life. I’m happiest when I have conversations with thought-provoking and creative friends and strangers. I’m happiest when I feel like I truly belong in Alex’s family. I’m happiest when a difficult past memory is nothing more than a moment, not an hour or day or period of sorrow.
I’m happiest when I see Alex and Linley running on the beach together. I’m happiest when I don’t let what happened in my past give me anxiety about the future. I’m happiest when I’m on a roadtrip or on a flight, about to have a new adventure. I’m happiest when that adrenaline rush hits while I’m doing something fun! I’m happiest when I feel a true sense of community in family, work and life. I’m happiest when I can be outside with Alex and Linley. I’m happiest when I’m on or near the water. I’m happiest when the guilt and shame that can consume me sometimes is finally set free.
I’m happiest when I let go of trying to impress other people. I’m happiest when people respect my boundaries, including myself. I’m happiest when I have a good conversation with a friend after a long day. I’m happiest when I can make an impact, even if it’s a small. I’m happiest when a friend and I catch up, especially if time has passed, and we pick up right where we left off. I’m happiest when my inbox is empty. I’m happiest when I’m away from my phone (yes, I see the irony in this…)
And I’d say I’m happiest when I finally stop putting the weight of the world on my shoulders!
I look forward to taking steps to ensure 2026 is a much lighter year. I need to heal.
Wedding day!The Grand CanyonATL Pride! (October 2025)
During my afternoon walk with Alex and Linley, I started talking about the rumination I was having during my morning walk with Linley. I couldn’t stop thinking about some harsh realities with certain friends. I couldn’t stop thinking about the radical acceptance I’ve been working so hard at in therapy. I couldn’t stop thinking about the radical honesty I needed to communicate with my friends, and myself. Boundaries. When to throw in the towel when I recognize patterns in certain people.
The version of me that knows the truth can see that I gave it my all with my brother, my ex, former friends, other family members and people in my life. The version of me that knows the truth knows that no matter what I would’ve done different, I probably still would’ve been lashed out at by certain friends, questioned by others, and judged by many people in my life. No matter what, I couldn’t have changed their views of me or the outcome of our relationship now.
The version of me that struggles with radical acceptance and honesty believes that it’s all my fault. Someone I had set boundaries with lashing out at me is all my fault. My ex leaving me is all my fault. My brother’s and my lack of a relationship is all my fault. My family’s judgment of me is all my fault. My friendships of ten plus years ending is all my fault. My not fitting in at certain workplaces is all my fault. You see the pattern here…
How can I work on coping with the fact that people have hurt me? All I want to do is blame myself. How can I realize that some relationships weren’t meant to last? All I want to do is reach out to Alissa, Danielle, Jaclyn, Dani, Terry, Brandon, Cass… but I know if I did, I would either be treated horribly, gaslighted or completely ignored.
I wish I’d learned how to communicate my feelings more effectively and in a timely manner, instead of telling Danielle “I don’t know what I did but just know I’ll always love you and you have a special place in my heart.” She probably thinks I ghosted her after ten years of friendship; what I really did was shield my pain because she did something that felt really unforgivable to me. But after four or five years of not speaking to her, who felt like a sister to me, does still eat me alive at times. It’s like that with quite a few people in my life, from my past.
But again: it’s “all my fault” and I carry all the weight and responsibility of others. It’s as though them hurting me is something I deserved, something that was my fault in the end.
How can I heal? How can I move on? My OCD and anxiety would love to know.
I want to cry about people from my past, but the tears never come. I feel like I don’t deserve to grieve or cry, because I “threw friends away.” This is true even when I was abandoned, lashed out at, made fun of, disrespected, etc. I want to heal. 🙏
P.S.: I know deep down that I’ve never “thrown anyone away.” In fact, I held onto the pain and hurting for so long, that when I finally did say how I felt, friendships were ruined. But Brandon, a friend of over ten years, said this to me in the last message he’d ever sent me. When I go through a hard time, sometimes that sentence tears at me. ☹️
P.P.S.: I also know deep down that someone who would speak to me like this at all a) didn’t like that I had boundaries and/or said that I needed space while I was going through my divorce and b) doesn’t really know me like I had thought he did. In our last year or so of friendship, I constantly felt like my feelings were minimized and no matter what I said I had to walk on eggshells. So when I’d moved back to Michigan around the time he had also moved back, I couldn’t be around that or hear those things during my divorce finalization. Before that, Brandon had always been such a loving, caring friend, but something had changed when we were both going through our breakups. We couldn’t help each other the way we had before. And I have to accept that.
I hadn’t been to Tybee Island until the first weekend of November, and I already can’t wait to return! Alex, Linley, Courtney, Chris and I rode with Captain Seth on a charter boat through the marsh and sea of Tybee Island. It was nothing what we expected, but it was absolutely beautiful and I couldn’t be happier with the experience.
As mentioned, we first rode through the marsh in our tiny boat. Seth went fast and it was such a rush! The water was only three feet deep, and was a delta where all the rivers fed into the ocean sea. Our boat actually got stuck at one point, but Alex and I knew Seth would get us out of the mess. Afterward, he went faster again and I was smiling from ear to ear! Seth took us to a sand bar that basically felt like a private beach, and we enjoyed some stretching and running around as we watched the sun begin to set and the birds begin to flock.
Although Courtney and Chris were with us this time, and although Alex was there and we’ve been to the beach as a family before, I couldn’t help but think of all the sunrises that Linley and I experienced during our year in Chicago. I took him every single morning, and it honestly saved my life. I didn’t have many friends there, I’d lost my job and was going through a divorce at the same time. Our sunrises together taught me that I could start anew, and Linley had been my loyal sidekick through all of it. It’s always hard to look back on the past without dwelling on it, and it makes me appreciate the moments we have together now more than ever.
After our fun on the sandbar/private beach, just when I thought our experience couldn’t get any better, it did. We were going fast in the ocean when Seth decided to stop suddenly. As we came to a stop, we saw a family of dolphins approach our boat! I’ve never seen dolphins before and I couldn’t believe my eyes; I started tearing up, Alex started filming and Linley was whining away haha. It was truly a once in a lifetime experience and it took my breath away.
Being with my two favorite fellas, two of my close friends and someone who led us to that moment was truly an unforgettable experience. We watched the moon and rode fast again once the dolphins let us be.
The last part of our ride back to the dock was equally as breathtaking as I saw the most beautiful sunset, which reminded me of a safari. I’ve seen sunsets in a few different countries and continents, but there was something really special about this one.
I didn’t get a horizontal picture of the sunset or photos of the constellations in the sky at night, but I’ll never forget any of it.
Until next time. 🫶
Media taken Saturday, November 1 on Tybee Island, Georgia. 🌅
I lay in bed with Alex and Linley lightly snoring next to me, feeling calm in their presence now but waking up from a panic. I’m panicking about trying to find ESL students and coaching clients, too. I’m panicking about not being able to “do all the things” or “getting it all done” before the end of the day/week/month/year. You know, the typical anxiety stuff 😅
Kidding aside, I’ve really been trying to write more rather than simply post more. I’m personally not a fan of Taylor Swift’s music, but I do find it fascinating that even when she’s not going through a breakup, she still remains super popular. As I’ve been adding to my blog and redoing my website, I’ve realized some of my most popular posts were from my darkest days. I hope that sharing my anxiety around career stuff doesn’t necessarily make me more “popular,” but I do hope people read this and think, “Oh, she’s in a great marriage now and Linley’s still doing great, but she’s real like me, too.” Yes, I’m in a much better place now and that depression I felt a few years back is no more; but sometimes my anxiety and OCD can feel daunting at times (and unfortunately, that time is usually 3 or 4 a.m.!)
In the meantime, I’m going to try to get some sleep, realize that I’m doing the best I can, and lay with Linley and Alex by my side (in that order haha 😉)
Traveling with the Traceys 